Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Holier ThanThou
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.29.2002
Klingon ship. Reed swigs some liquid -- we don't know if it's actually water, do we? -- from an earthenware jug and says, "It will work." T'Pol tells him that if he's wrong, he could destroy the ship. The ship creaks, and the sparks, well, they just keep on flying. "Look, even with Hoshi's help, it could take hours just to find the fusion injector in here," Reed says, dodging a few explosions. "We're out of time!" I really don't see any call for T'Pol to be sticking her dinners as far out as she's sticking them in this scene, but I notice that the director made sure the light fell across her chest, while Hoshi's is kept in relative darkness. "I say we try the weapons," Hoshi says. "How do you know you can even access the tactical systems?" T'Pol asks Reed. Reed tells her, "If there's one thing on board this ship I ought to be able to figure out, it's the torpedoes."
Meanwhile, in the calm and comfort of Quantum's Ready Room on Enterprise, Trip tells Quantum he'd like to run one more structural diagnostic on the shuttle pod before it's launched. Quantum takes his report from him and says, "Qapla'!" Trip's confused. Again. "Success!" Quantum explains, "I decided to take your advice about thinking like a Klingon. The Vulcan database has about nine hundred pages on them." Trip asks if he's learned anything. "Plenty. They're driven by a warrior mentality. They tend to view anyone they meet as a potential enemy," Quantum says. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't T'Pol tell them all this in "Unexpected"? Are they admitting that they just weren't listening to a word she said because their racist attitudes stuck extra large cotton balls in their ears? Trip comments that that's why their patient is so ornery with them. "They also have a strong sense of duty. Uh, Heh CHo' mruak tah, 'death before dishonor,'" Quantum translates. He is pensive for half a nanosecond before telling Trip to finish with his diagnostic. "I'll be in sick bay," he says and starts to leave. "Gonna go put yer homewerk to use?" Trip asks. "Something like that," Quantum says. What a sparkling conversationalist. Save him a place at the Algonquin Captain's Table.
Phlox holds up a hypospray and looks at Quantum, who nods. Phlox zaps the comatose Klingon. Bu'Kah struggles, but Phlox puts a hand on her shoulder, telling her to relax or she might hurt herself. Bu'Kah looks at the hypospray suspiciously: "What's that? Is that what you used against my crew?" Quantum tells her the good doctor has developed an antidote to combat the neurotoxin that is afflicting her and her crew. "Is this how you plan to gain my trust? First poison me and then miraculously cure me?" Bu'Kah asks. Quantum ignores this ingenious idea -- but files it away for future reference on how to gain the trust of another naïve race -- and asks if she's had a drink lately. How can she be on this show and not be blind drunk by now? Bu'Kah doesn't know what he's talking about. "The bio-agent that affected you and your crew was consumed apparently in alcohol," Quantum tells her. "Specifically the toxin was bonded to a molecule unique to Xarantine ale," Phlox says. Isn't it convenient for all the research on Star Trek that certain things seem to have molecules "unique" only to those substances? I can't even begin to count the number of times that seems to happen. Bu'Kah leans back and says, "There was a raid." Quantum tries to get her to go on, but she clamps her jaws together. "I can understand your not wanting to talk about it, if the raid went badly for you," Quantum says, egging her on with brilliant reverse psychology, hold the "brilliant." Bu'Kah gets irate and screeches, "The Xarantines are no match for us! We attacked their outpost and took what we wanted!" "And that included some Xarantine ale?" Phlox asks. Bu'Kah nods proudly. Quantum asks if the whole crew indulged, and Bu'Kah says, "The triumph belonged to all." Quantum tells her that's what infected them, not the Enterprise crew, and tells her to think about when the crew started getting ill. "Was it right after the raid? After you celebrated your victory?" he asks. Bu'Kah says she's being tricked, and there's a bunch of back-and-forth with the Klingon being stubborn as a mule. Finally Quantum puts his Klingon studies to good use and tells her she'd be letting her crew die a dishonorable death when she could be their savior.