Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Holier ThanThou
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.29.2002
Klingon ship. Reed examines some cruddy-looking devices in a crawl space and gripes, noticeably without his stubbed-ub dose, "The one time we need our chief engineer is the one time we leave him behind." Seriously. I really can't comprehend what kind of filter Quantum was checking when he dreamed up this away team. Boarding a shipwreck would automatically necessitate an engineer more than a weapons expert. Not only that, but they detected weak bio-signs when they stumbled across the ship, so Phlox would have been another obvious inclusion. The Dancing Doctor went on almost every away mission and it made perfect sense to have her and her medical tricorder along. Of course, it was a natural reaction for Picard, whereas Quantum and common sense are perfect strangers. Hoshi tells T'Pol and Reed to come look at something, and we can now see that the three of them found it necessary to strip down to their skivvies. Weird, dark grey, Danskin-like skivvies, too. Hoshi has found what appears to be the Klingon Captain's video log, and she pulls out her UT in order to translate the Captain's final words. "...Class Planet. We destroyed their ship, but we've sustained damage in our port fusion injector [Hoshi and T'Pol look pointedly at Reed]. We've descended into the outer atmosphere of a Q'tahl Class Planet to make repairs in case there are other Xarantine ships in the area [The Klingon Captain hacks and takes a swig of something.] My crew is falling ill and I have been unable to determine why. If we had died when the Xarantine attacked, our honor would be secure but to fall victim to some disease, to be crushed into nothing in the depths of this miserable planet..." The Captain hacks some more, and the video fuzzes off. Reed notes that they need to find the port fusion injector. "Wait, I saw that somewhere," Hoshi says, clicking some buttons on a display. She points at a graphic of the ship: "Here, one deck below us -- it's in the 'reactor pit.'" Reed asks if that could mean 'Engineering.' I assume so, because the fantastic three cautiously make their way through the dark corridors, pointing their phasers police drug-bust style as they round corners. T'Pol examines another collapsed Klingon as Hoshi and Reed survey the control panels. Hoshi finds the correct one, which happens to have a comatose Klingon hunched over it. Reed and T'Pol haul him off and get to work.
Enterprise's bowels, where sparks fly. Quantum assists Trip as they technobabble on some reinforcements to the shuttle pod. Is there any real reason why Quantum has to groove on this Flashdance vibe and become a welder? I mean, where are all the other real engineers? Quantum philosophizes that he made a "tactical error" with their Klingon patient, elucidating, "I asked her for help, she could see that as a sign of weakness." Trip quips, "Have you been boning up on your Klingon psychology?" Apparently, he had when he made that comment in sick bay about Klingons killing off their leaders, so what's the big? Quantum comments that every time they run into Klingons, the Klingons want to kill them. Man, do I sympathize with the Klingons, or what? Trip says they should try to "steer clear" of them in the future, but the Captain tells him it's not so easy, especially with three of their crew stuck on one of their doomed vessels. Trip seems to need constant reminding of that fact. "If we could reestablish a com signal with T'Pol and the others, the Klingon woman could probably talk them through the repairs. But she's got a thousand generations of instinct telling her not to trust me," Quantum whines. "Well, maybe it's time you started thinking like a Klingon," Trip says. Thanks for your enlightening flash of intellect, Commander Bumpkin, but I thought that's what this conversation was all about in the first place.