Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Holier ThanThou
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.29.2002
Klingon Galley. The camera pans to show us a nice spread of Klingon food: a few hanging targ, gagh, gladst...the usual appetizing fare. A cold storage door opens, and a Klingon female enters the scene.
Klingon Bridge. The away team fully removes their helmets, and T'Pol reports back to Quantum that they found three Klingons on the bridge, but she's detected "at least nine more bio-signs" elsewhere on the ship. "You can't tell what happened to them?" Quantum asks, with presumptive incredulity in his voice. Uh, no, Cpt. Butthead -- she's not a doctor, and for some reason known only to your sub-space intellect, you didn't order your ship's doctor on this mission. T'Pol's a bit more respectful in her reply: "I'm detecting residual amounts of a carbon dioxide-based neurotoxin, but it seems to have dissipated -- there's not enough to affect us." Quantum asks Trip how long the shuttle pod's hull will hold, and Trip tells them they have about thirty minutes. Quantum tells T'Pol she's got twenty minutes "to see if [she] can do anything for that crew," then he wants her "out of there." T'Pol says she doesn't think there's anything they can do for the crew in twenty minutes, and suggests they leave now. "You have a margin of safety," Quantum tells her, and then his com link fuzzes out. "Damn interference," Reed is heard to say from the Klingon bridge, as the camera shows the Klingon female creeping along a corridor. Reed, T'Pol, and Hoshi argue about what course of action they should take as the Klingon female crashes about elsewhere on the ship. Reed goes to investigate, and gets beaten up. T'Pol and Hoshi try to fire at the Klingon, but she escapes through some sliding doors. A red light goes off over the sliding doors, and there's some rumbling. "What's that?" Hoshi asks, getting a little close to hysteria. "That's our shuttle pod taking off," T'Pol tells her. Reed rubs his head and climbs to his feet.
Enterprise bridge. Trip fiddles with stuff as Quantum tries unsuccessfully to contact T'Pol. "Captain," Mayflower breathes, as a shuttle pod comes whizzing by them out of the malodorous depths of the gas giant. Quantum tries to hail the pod, but it just isn't happening. Mayflower reports with a tinge of concern, "Sir, they're heading into open space." Quantum jumps out of his chair to examine the situation. Trip, who has been futzing some more with Hoshi's communication devices, says, "I think I've got something!" Klingonese comes across the airwaves until they manage to get the UT warmed up. "...in range. Respond. We've been attacked by an unknown ship, designation Enterprise NX-01 any warships in range, respond," the voice says. It's quite convenient that the UT can always rely upon these alien transmissions to repeat themselves, so they get the complete message when the translation interface eventually kicks in. Also convenient that, by this point, Klingons have made such an exhaustive study of Earthlings that even a minor officer can read the English characters on a ship's hull and establish that particular ship's designation and name. Quantum orders Trip to deploy the grappling hooks. Trip deploys, and they nab the pod in one go. Quantum orders a security team to the launch bay, and hooks Trip into joining him. "The bridge is yours, Travis," he tells Mayflower. Wonder if Boomer Boy is going to try to sneak into the Porsche seat again.