Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Holier ThanThou
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.29.2002
Quantum, Trip, and the security team edge into the launch bay and cautiously examine the area. A red-shirt approaches the open pod door, and gets a Klingon on his face for his trouble. The female Klingon picks up the red-shirt's weapon just as Trip fires at her from behind. She struggles, but is hit by another phaser stream from Quantum, which manages to knock her completely to the ground. Quantum coms the bridge and asks if Mayflower still has "a fix" on the shipwreck. Mayflower confirms that he does, and Quantum tells him to transfer the shipwreck's coordinates to the launch bay. He's going in after them. Mayflower doth protest a bit, saying, "Sir, the alien ship sunk another two thousand meters. It's below the shuttle's safety limits." Quantum furrows his brow, but I'm not sure if this is his Concerned Look, his Confused Look, or his Resolute Look. "Then polarize the hull plating, we'll take Enterprise down," Quantum decrees. Ah, I see, it was his Making A Stupid Decision That's Not Going To Get Us Anywhere Look. Trip nods in proud agreement.
Klingon shipwreck. As he and Hoshi examine more control panels, Reed bewails their outcast state and their distinct lack of a clue on how to get off of the ship. "What about escape pods?" Hoshi asks. Reed says they know nothing about the structural integrity of Klingon escape pods: "My guess is we're better off in here." T'Pol steps in, saying, "It's irrelevant, Lieutenant, Klingons don't use escape pods. It would be considered an act of cowardice to abandon ship." I guess that's that. Hoshi suggests trying to use the Klingon communication system to contact their mother ship, but T'Pol kills that hope as well, saying, "I doubt their com will penetrate the EM field any better than our own. If we can access their helm controls we might be able to put this vessel in a stable orbit." Reed protests that he doesn't know how to fly a Klingon ship, but T'Pol tells him to deal. "We have no other choice," she says. Noises that are supposed to signify the strain on the ship's hull resound around them. It's really like the sounds a submarine crew might hear as the water pressure increases the deeper down they go -- very good effort on the special effects tip. The three blind mice look around in unease, and T'Pol orders Hoshi, "Start translating those consoles. Look for anything marked 'propulsion,' 'helm,' 'navigation.' " Hoshi says, "I'll try, but reading Klingon is different than [sic] speaking it." Yeah, generally, it's easier to read a language than it is to speak it. Reed suggests rousing one of the Klingons to help her.
Hoshi goes over to some computer screens and starts studying them. She mutters some Klingonese and then says, "'Plasma containment,' maybe?" She turns to T'Pol at her side, who asks, "You're certain?" Hoshi turns back to the panel. "'Containment,'" she repeats, and looks at T'Pol: "I'm certain." Hoshi moves onto the next panel, and translates it: "Something they call photon torpedoes?" Reed falls all over himself to look at the panel: "Photon torpedoes, I never heard of anything like that!" Hey, I didn't order anvils on my pizza! Send it back. Reed asks what else she's got up the Klingon sleeve, and Hoshi explains that they're looking at the weapons system, listing, "Torpedoes, tactical sensors, disruptor arrays..." "What about this one?" T'Pol asks from another panel. Hoshi bends her expert eyes on it and says, "I recognize 'pressure.' Ka'tahl, that could mean wall or barrier." "Or hull?" T'Pol asks, ominously, as Reed says, "If I'm reading this correctly, we've got a few hours at the most. The hull integrity is failing." "Then we better hurry," T'Pol says flatly. Reed nods. T'Pol walks over to another panel and says, "This appears to be the helm station." Hoshi agrees, "Quee nagah -- 'impulse drive.'" T'Pol looks at her, and Reed says, "Good work, Hoshi," as he sits down at the controls. He presses some buttons, and a really loud alarm goes off. "Hoshi?" he asks, anxiously. Hoshi leans over to look at the panel and reads, "It says the pressure's failing in the J'khat bah -- fusion manifold -- do you know what that means?" Hoshi is just the woman. Reed nods and says, "To quote our very own Mr. Tucker, that means 'we're ded in tha warter.' " I think Dominic Keating has a thing about imitating an American accent. This is his second attempt.