Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Escape From Witch Island
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.16.1999
You know, if there really is such a thing as an SNL curse, why couldn't it have spared Phil Hartman in favour of Rob "Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo" Schneider?
Damn! I totally meant to go to the Concert on the Creek, but then I decided to give myself an appendectomy with a nail file instead.
Pacey and Jen walk through the now dark woods carrying some X-Files-calibre flashlights. Jen asks him if he "feel[s] anything" yet, presumably referring to her spell. He says he's starting to feel lost. Jen: blah blah blah biblically-themed meal with Grams doesn't sound too bad blah blah I'd even say grace blah blah instead I'm wandering through the haunted wood with your fishcakes. Pacey asks why he's always the bad guy, recaps for Jen the Andie situation, and asks how Andie can possibly have arrived at the conclusion that he's the creep in that scenario. Jen recaps for Pacey the Henry situation, and says that rejecting him made her feel like a creep. Pacey says that love messes everything up, but that sex is nice. Jen agrees. Pacey says he's starting to think that casual sex is "the way to go." Jen says that "sex is never casual." Pacey suggests that it can work if both parties agree on the terms in advance. Basically, they spend the next twenty minutes defining the term "booty call." Jen seems amenable, and he advances on her, saying that it may be "the witch's brew talking," but that she looks "all kinds of cute." She smiles and sidles away.
Back in the gift shop, Joey reads from a DTPed Diary of Mary Waldeck, edited by Wendy Dalrymple. The passage she's found conveniently ends thus: "This time apart has me wondering if our bond was but an illusion." Dawson assumes that what Joey is saying is all about him (and, for once, it actually is), and asks whether Joey thinks that their own relationship was an illusion of her own making. Joey tells him not to put words in her mouth; he replies that he doesn't have to, whatever that means. She asks if he ever wonders where "this" is going -- whether this is just the first act, or whether their story has already ended. Dawson asks whether they need to figure that out right now, and why they can't just live in the present. Joey says that "the present sucks" (and I have to agree that it really does suck AS LONG AS THIS CONVERSATION IS GOING ON), and that she's just trying to make sense of what's happened to them. Dawson says that she once told him that some love stories never end: "What happened to that girl?" Joey says, "She offered herself to the boy she loved -- the boy she thought loved her back -- and he rejected her." Dawson says, "If we are truly meant to be, then we will find a way back to each other. It's as simple as that." Dawson, you are such a WET END. Joey snarls, "You so sure about that, Dawson?" Joey, maybe, like me, he just doesn't have the energy to care anymore. She reads some more crap from the diary about whether Mary and William will ever find the road back to each other, and about Mary's being powerless to stop the apparently inevitable end of their relationship. Joey scowls meaningfully at Dawson, while he stares moistly back, but before they can say anything surpassing in lameness what they've already said, they hear a church bell and dart out of the gift shop, figuring that it's Pacey and Jen. Wendy emerges from a back room, with her hair down and an oil lamp in her hand.
Suddenly Joey and Dawson are back in the church, where Jen and Pacey are waiting for them. I thought that the church was so far in the woods that they needed a map to find it. How could they have just jogged there in the dark? Following the bell sound would have helped some, but if the church was really so far from the dock, they shouldn't have been able to hear it as loud as it was. Why am I picking on this tiny piece of discontinuity? I don't know. Pacey says, "You rang?" and Dawson says he thought they rang. Pacey shines his flashlight up into the bell tower, and OHMIGOD there ISN'T EVEN A BELL THERE! Whatever. Joey says, "I'm now sufficiently wigged."