Episode Report Card Potes: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Swag
By Potes | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.03.2007
Betty gets in the elevator with Amanda and some other glamazons, and one very tall woman faux-compliments her bag, saying it's "so Juan Valdez." That's totally racist, and yet nothing is really quite as funny as the trip down memory lane with Juan Valdez. I mean, remember that guy? He farmed, like, every coffee bean for the span of about four years. Amanda asks if the bag came with a mule. And seriously... heh. Christina then gets in the elevator, and everyone starts fawning over her because she is the Gatekeeper to the Swag. She tells them all to sod off, and that nobody is moving up the list, including Amanda. Amanda says that she was late to sign up because of her job, and Christina replies that they all know what kind of job she was giving. Er, doing. Tee hee!
Christina does tell Betty that she could cut the queue, but Betty says that she knows Christina doesn't have anything above a size six. Christina suggests accessories. Out on the street, Betty says that she's just not that into fashion. Really. I wouldn't have guessed. She then complains about her measly paycheck, and Christina tells her that she has to start thinking of the stuff from the Closet as part of her wages. They then stop at a street vendor selling knockoff bags, and Christina points out the "it" bag of the season, which we saw pre-flashback on Betty's shoulder. And the bag, it's really kind of ugly. But what do I know about bags? Except if you mean the cast of The Golden Girls. I know a lot about them. Betty says that her mom used to have a bag like that that she gave to Betty when she was three. She used to carry her crayons around in it, which made Hilda furious. The guy selling the knockoff bags tells them that it's $200, and that you can't tell it from the real thing. Au contraire, says Christina, who adds that if you bring a fake bag into Mode, everybody knows.
Back at Casa de Suarez, Betty's dad and Justin help Betty to pick through Daniel's receipts and marvel at the damage that he did in one month. Betty explains that it's business and he's the editor-in-chief and has to entertain people. Ignacio marvels that Daniel spent $821 on dinner, which makes Hilda proclaim that the next time they go to the chicken place she's getting all white meat. Mmm, chicken. Justin picks out a blank receipt, which Betty says is another miscellaneous expense. Hilda notes that there are a lot of miscellaneous expenses. Betty says that this must be fine, because a lot of Wilhelmina's expenses were miscellaneous, too. Hilda looks at her report, and notes that she went to Rio, where she racked up a $25,000 bill for props and extras. A.k.a., hookers. I mean, right? You can tell that Wilhelmina's a freak like that. All of this leads to the ceremonial passing around of Betty's measly first paycheck. Ignacio says that they take so much out, but it's still a paycheck, and that it's more than he made on his first job... almost. That's when you count the value of his mule. After he leaves, Hilda has some disturbing news. The pharmacy wouldn't fill Ignacio's prescription. Betty is outraged at Maria Ortiz, the pharmacist, who knows that Ignacio has arrhythmia and could die. Hilda says that it wasn't Maria, it was Ignacio's HMO. They're not going to cover him anymore. Dunh dunh!!!! Commercials.