Episode Report Card Potes: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Swag
By Potes | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.03.2007
In the ravaged Mode Closet, Christina says to Betty that the witch and her flying monkey set her up, and notes that if Wilhelmina were publisher, that would make her more powerful than Daniel, god forbid. She tells Betty that there's not much swag left, but she did save her a few goodies. The most fabulous among them being a Gucci bag, which Betty does not need to be a size six to wear. Please. If Betty were a size six she would fit IN that bag. Betty is touched. Christina says that fashion is good for the soul, and for how it makes you feel. And she says that Betty will be amazed at the respect that a designer label brings around the office. Betty says that it's the nicest thing she's ever owned. Christina tells her not to put her crayons in it. Where the hell is a girl supposed to keep her crayons in this day and age?
At home, Betty regifts the swag. She gives Ignacio a watch used in a James Bond shoot. Hilda gets a scarf, which Justin correctly identifies as Hermes. And Justin gets a Burberry belt, which totally makes him flame out. Ignacio sees Betty's Gucci, and says that it reminds him of the handbag that Betty's mother gave to her. She used to carry it around everywhere. He says that her mother loved the handbag, because it made her feel beautiful. Things get all nostalgic for a while, and then Betty has to break the news that Maria wouldn't refill Ignacio's prescription, and that it will cost $200. Ignacio simply says that Betty's bag is beautiful, and that the watch she gave him is wonderful. He then takes his LAST PILL! Oh my God, he's going to, like, die tomorrow. And may I add that he takes his pill without water. What, they make chewable Coumadin now? Or the Suarezes can no longer afford running water? This tale gets more tragic by the minute! Betty lies in bed and is all sad. She hugs the bag close to her as we fade to commercials.
When we return, the same bitch who made the Juan Valdez comment compliments Betty on her Gucci in the elevator. Marc gets in and throws a shit fit at Christina when he sees it. He says that Betty doesn't know what to do with a Gucci bag, as evidenced by the fact that it's touching polyester. Hee. Marc hits Betty in the head with a poster tube and gives a half-hearted, "Oops."
Meanwhile, Daniel is on the phone trying to apply for a new platinum card. Or a new gold card. Or a silver card. How about a nickel-plated card? He tells Betty that his credit rating is apparently lower than that of most convicted felons. He then compliments Betty on her bag. She notes that it's from the Closet, and then pulls out her latest project -- a list of 300 very fun things to do in New York City for under $300. Awww, Betty. And really, that's the perfect thing for her to do on account of how she's all poor and shit and really needs to know that stuff.