Episode Report Card Cate: A | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Anything You Want (Pilot)
By Cate | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 08.25.1996
After dinner, back in the CamKitchen, we see RevCam walking around with a dishtowel on his shoulder while, off-camera, Annie shouts out, "Ouch! Darn it!" I immediately assume she finally lopped off a finger with the chef's knife, but no -- now she's trying unskillfully to fix the kitchen sink. RevCam tells her she's looking beautiful. She modestly demurs, saying she has grease on her face. It's true -- there's a small smudge of something that looks like eye shadow placed strategically across her cheek so she'll look cute. At least it draws attention away from her hair. She and RevCam make out for a while, and I'm shocked to see that there's actually some open-mouthed kissing involved. While it's certainly not the most erotic scene ever, it's still way better than their passionless, closed-mouthed kisses from later seasons. They both stick their heads under the sink and make out some more -- mm, romantic! -- until Simon walks up and spoils the mood by saying, "You know, a dog is a lot less trouble than a baby." Wow, now I think I know why Simon's dialogue has always been so crappy in seasons four through six: There must be a finite number of funny lines he's allowed to utter during his run on this show -- WB policy, you know -- and apparently Simon used up all of his in the pilot episode.
Upstairs, Ruthie is shuffling around in a pair of oversized slippers with some sort of animal heads on them. I can't see what kind of animals they are, so I'm just going to assume they're wild boars. She sees Lucy doing a headstand; understandably, she wants to know why. Lucy says she is "becoming a woman." Mary told her that doing a headstand would help. Makes sense, right? RevCam ambles by and wants to know what Lucy's doing. Lucy freaks out and runs away to the bathroom, crying. I know it's not very fair to pick on child actors, but this is some of the worst scenery-chewing I've ever seen.
After learning from Ruthie that Lucy is "becoming a woman," RevCam knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Remember me? The guy who bought you anatomically correct dolls by mistake? We've got a history of embarrassing stuff together...not that there's anything to be embarrassed about. By the way, did you start your period yet?" Aw, that's kind of cute -- yet ever so slightly creepy at the same time. I can't blame Lucy for throwing something at the bathroom door and shouting at him to leave. As he's turning to go, he spies Ruthie doing a headstand. He leaves, muttering something to himself.