Episode Report Card Cate: A | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Anything You Want (Pilot)
By Cate | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 08.25.1996
In the CamKitchen, Annie is putting a tray of cookies into the oven, only she can't even do that right. The blobs of cookie dough on the tray are so huge that by the time they melt in the oven, this is going to be one gigantic, rectangular cookie. Despite that, RevCam hugs her and thanks her for cooking for the family "nearly every night of the week." I almost fall off my chair when I hear Annie say, "Will you stop -- I am not going to have sex with you while my parents are here." I have to rewind the tape a couple times because I can't believe they're actually using the s-word, and not some crappy euphemism like "adult relations." I can't believe this show became more conservative as time went on. Annie and Eric gossip a bit about Mary and Jeff, but they're interrupted by Lucy, who comes down and beamingly reminds RevCam not to forget to pick up her feminine hygiene products. Can't she just borrow something from Mary or Annie? At least this gives us the opportunity to hear RevCam use the word "tampons." And he actually says the word "tampons," not changing it to "womanly things" or something.
After dinner, there's some scintillating conversation about how bad the speakers are in the Camden station wagon. When Annie's mom, June, offers to buy a new CD player for the CamWagon, Annie laughs and says, "Mom, it can wait." June replies, "Sure it can. But why not do it now." And she's not laughing. She and Annie stare into each other's eyes silently for about ten minutes so that we will all be able to guess that June is going to die soon. Despite how obvious that fact may be to everyone else, Matt doesn't have a clue. Annie sends him off to check on the other kids, leaving her and RevCam alone with her parents. June announces that she has acute leukemia, and that there is very little hope for survival. She's not going to seek much treatment for her condition, since she'd rather spend her last days with her family instead of in a hospital. I might care more if I hadn't just met this character two minutes ago, but it's a sad scene anyway, and everyone does a good job with it.
Outside, we learn that Ruthie has named the dog Happy. Dopey sends her to the kitchen to get Happy a cookie. Way to make your dog fat, loser. When Ruthie leaves, Dopey asks Simon if he can keep a secret. I have my doubts, but Simon says he can. Matt tells him that Happy is going to have puppies. Why, Dopey's not even an orderly yet! How could he know? Happy licks Simon's face obsessively. I hope someone's remembered to de-worm her. On second thought, I really hope nothing of the sort.