Episode Report Card Cate: A | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Anything You Want (Pilot)
By Cate | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 08.25.1996
Simon treats Ruthie like a dog, getting her to sit and bark. It's really not as kinky as it sounds.
Just as Dopey's heading out the door, Jeff comes by to tell him that he'll be visiting with Mary this evening. Dopey tells him he can't. I guess Matt's forgetting that, in the CamVerse, having a penis only gives you carte blanche to boss females around, not other guys. Lucy and Mary choose this moment to arrive back at the house. Bet you can't guess what Lucy does when she sees Jeff. That's right -- she runs off crying. I've lost count of how many times she's done this during the episode, but it still cracks me up every time. As Mary walks by, Dopey loudly says that Jeff is busy tonight. Jeff looks confused as he says, "I am?" Mary glares at Dopey as she walks toward the house, and tells him to mind his own business.
She goes into the living room and sees RevCam reading the paper. She asks if she can have part of the paper. What she could want it for is beyond me, since this is the girl who, five years later, doesn't even know what PBS is. Maybe she just wants to make fun paper hats to cheer Lucy up some more. RevCam tells Mary that he and Annie have decided that it's okay for her to date guys who are a year or two older than her. You'd think this would make her happy, but instead she just says she hates Matt. Then she takes a page out of Lucy's book and storms off. RevCam's bewildered. Me too.
Annie drops Dopey off at Mrs. Bink's and drives away. Matt lopes up to the front door and knocks. He gives Mrs. Bink literally two and a half seconds to open the door before he starts impatiently knocking some more. Give the poor woman a break, Dopey. There's no way she could make it to the door in that time unless she were standing two feet away from it. When she does open the door, Dopey is taken aback to see that she's toting around an oxygen machine and breathing through an oxygen mask. She takes it off long enough to belligerently ask why he's taken so long to get there. Then she goes into a prolonged coughing fit. If you ask me, it's kind of rude of Dopey to keep staring at her, but maybe he's mistaken the oxygen machine for a vacuum cleaner or something.
After a commercial break, Dopey has recovered himself sufficiently to enter Mrs. Bink's house. She's still coughing away as she asks him to help find her cigarettes. Dopey stands around looking foolish, as he asks, "Did you say you lost a lung?" He's plenty freaked now, and when she asks him for one of his cigarettes, he doesn't know what to say. We see him driving Mrs. Bink around while she keeps asking him to stop for smokes. When he refuses, she calls him a hypocrite.