Episode Report Card Cate: A | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Anything You Want (Pilot)
By Cate | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 08.25.1996
Maybe if RevCam had challenged Dopey to a game of pocket pool, the hateful conversation would not have to ensue, but it's too late for that now. Eric says he's seen Dopey smoking. He doesn't want Matt to pay for cigarettes out of the allowance he gives him, so he makes him fork over twenty bucks, leaving Dopey broke for his date. Boo-hoo. When Dopey whines about not having any money, RevCam uses the opportunity to harangue him about not having a job. He's nice enough to say he's found Matt one, though he doesn't say what it is. It's kind of weird that Dopey doesn't even ask about it. I mean, what if it's a job picking up after the neighborhood dogs or something? Eric decides to push his luck by asking about Dopey's hair. Matt is quick to head him off at the pass, saying that he refuses to cut his hair. RevCam does a quick save and pretends that Dopey's hair looks really good. That's obviously not true, but at least his hair is clean here.
Aw, it's Sunday, and that means it's time for our first sermon from RevCam. He decides to read from Ecclesiastes, which causes Lucy to freak out yet again as she bolts from the church. Man, she sure is a fragile little thing, isn't she? Annie follows her daughter outside, smiling fakely at various parishioners as she goes.
Next, we see Annie talking to RevCam after church, explaining why Lucy is upset. She says, "I used the same passage to comfort her about not getting her period. She thought you were about to tell the whole church." Ha! If only he had. That may be too evil to wish even on a fictional television character, but it would have been hilarious. Eric's much too sensitive for that, though. He waxes lyrical about how special menstruation is -- which makes it pretty obvious that he's never had to experience cramps before. When RevCam wonders why Mary was never uptight like this, Annie points out that Lucy is way more sensitive than Mary ever was -- no argument there -- and that, unlike Mary, Lucy probably won't ever ask RevCam to "run out to the drugstore and pick up a big blue box of slender regulars." Eric replies, "Hey, don't take away my dreams." Heh. All jokes aside, it's really pretty cool that they're trying to present menstruation in a positive light here. Frankly, that's way more than I ever would have expected from Brenda.
Lucy is lying on her bed, swearing that she's "never gonna show [her] face in public again." Good idea, Lucy -- at least until you do something about those ugly, puffy bangs. Lucy mentions that a woman used to own the CamPound, and when she died, she left it to the church. Lucy wonders if the woman was insane, and if she is now being possessed by that woman's spirit. I doubt that, but that could explain a hell of a lot about Psycho Annie from season six. Menopause, my ass. To get back to the present, Mary suggests that Lucy has PMS, which cheers the girl up so much that she agrees to go jogging with Mary. Lucy suggests that she bring along some sort of feminine hygiene product, even though, as Mary points out, they'll never be more than "two minutes from the house." Mary humors her and gets a tampon from her dresser. Why doesn't she keep them in the bathroom like everyone else? I'm assuming she won't be inserting them while in the bedroom. Dumb-ass. I'm also wondering how Lucy would know how to go about inserting one if she's never used them before. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, but it is a little complicated the first time. Maybe Mary can just give her a lesson right there on the sidewalk. Sorry, I'm not trying to be vulgar (well, not any more than usual), but this storyline is starting to work my nerves hard.