Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | 110 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Bitchelle of Mercy
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 2004.04.06
So anyway, at the sight of these armed Hazmaticians entering the building, any crowd control that Bitchelle gained from her killing of James Woods has evaporated and the guests are panicking again. Bitchelle fires two shots into the air and tells everyone to settle down and not to even think of leaving the building. "I need absolute quiet and absolute cooperation," she says forcefully. Meanwhile, the guests -- who need Absolut, or at the very least some dollar Rolling Rocks -- back down and huddle behind tissues pressed to their bloody noses. She gets on a P.A. system and announces to the assembled guests -- and the people still in their rooms -- that an infectious substance has been released into the building and they are under quarantine. "Anyone attempting to leave will be stopped by any means necessary," she says, ordering everyone back to their rooms. Whoa! Go Bitchelle! How often do you get to see Reiko Aylesworth in black leather with a gun in one hand and a mike in the other? Maybe the writers can find excuses to put Reiko in her Gun 'n' Mike leather outfit more often next season -- sorta how they always had Spawn running during Season Two.
With Gay Matt's encouragement, the guests head for the elevators, except one haglike woman who seems to have arrived in the lobby fairly recently. "Danny?" she calls out past the armed Hazmaticians. She sees James Woods's dead body and starts to cry. James Woods's name is Danny? Who knew? "Who killed him?" shrieks WidowHag as she slowly makes eye contact with Bitchelle. "Shriek" is a brilliantly appropriate word for this recap. I'm going to be using it quite often for the rest of the recap, so brace yourselves. There was a whole lotta shrieking going on during this hour. I think I might even create a macro for it. "You are a federal agent, you were supposed to protect him," she shrieks. (See?) Bitchelle is saved from more hysterics by Gay Matt, who arrives just in time to guide WidowHag over to the elevators. But the damage has been done. Bitchelle feels like shit. Shut up, WidowHag. Your husband shouldn't have fucked with Bitchelle.
The time is 05:04:15 AM. Kiefer and Special Agent Charlie Brown are still in that parking lot where Amador went to his fiery death -- after all, he was such a flamer. Kiefer's cell phone rings. It's Palmer. He wants to know why the new supervillain used Kiefer to get to him. Kiefer says that the new supervillain has a konnection to Kiefer, but no one has been able to ascertain what the connection is, or even who the new supervillain is. Palmer tells Kiefer that the new supervillain intends to use the threat of the V-I-R-U-S to control Palmer, and by extension the entire United States. "Obviously, we cannot let that happen," says Palmer. Kiefer assures him that they're doing everything they can, and hangs up. He and Charlie get into the Kiefmobile, and Kiefer outlines their next step. They have two leads. The first is that the new supervillain knows Kiefer. The second is that Alvers, who Bitchelle has tied to a pipe in the basement of Inn Fection, knows the new supervillain. He tells Charlie to get Soul Patch on the phone. "Tell him to get Alvers to get us a physical description as detailed as possible and then I want him to cross-check with the personnel in my service file," says Kiefer. Kiefer starts the Kiefmobile engine, and they're off.