Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | 110 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Bitchelle of Mercy
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 2004.04.06
Meanwhile, down in the morgue...I mean, "the basement of Inn Fection," Alvers, still chained to that pipe, has to wipe his nose with his forearm. Why? Because he is starting to bleed. Bitchelle enters and clack clack clacks toward him. "I'm bleeding!" he shrieks. "You don't look that bad," says Bitchelle, nonplussed. He reminds her of the deal they made for Bitchelle to kill him as soon as he exhibited symptoms. "You haven't told us everything you know yet," says Bitchelle opening up her laptop. She asks him for the name of the new supervillain. He claims not to know. When she rolls her eyes, he assures her that he is dying and has nothing to gain by lying. Hey, that rhymed. Bitchelle calls Soul Patch on her cell phone and puts the receiver to Alvers's mouth. "I want a description," she says. Alvers describes the new supervillain as "mid-thirties, Caucasian, about 6'1", black hair, brown eyes, no facial hair and speaks with a British accent." To which I would have added, "is really gay-acting." Back at CTU, Potato Face enters these characteristics and cross-references them with Kiefer's kontact file. In seconds they have a file full of profiles of Kiefer's former contacts who match that physical description. They upload them to Bitchelle's laptop, and Bitchelle shows them to Alvers. And it's one of those fancy laptops where she has to tap on the monitor with a pen in order to advance the photos. They go through a couple dozen photos; none of them are of the new Supervillain. Bitchelle suggests they widen the search. "The accent might be a mislead," she says. "He might not even be British." That I could believe. Frankly, Sahhhhn-ders's accent sounds to me like that of someone from Illinois who spent his junior year abroad at RADA.
Kiefer, who is on speakerphone from the Kiefmobile, asks Soul Patch to search for any dead kontacts of Kiefer who, otherwise, match the new supervillain's description. Chloe types it in and soon they have another file full of black-haired thirty-ish male Caucasians. Bitchelle goes through them all with Alvers. "It's him!" he shrieks at a picture of the new supervillain. Kiefer, who can see the picture through his very own car server or some such Whatever Technology, gasps. "I know him!" he shrieks. "His name is Stephen Sahhhhn-ders." He explains that he was a British Intelligence agent on loan to CTU for that Kosovo mission -- the same one that went so badly that Dennis Hopper tried to avenge himself on Palmer, Kiefer, and Kiefer's family during Day One. "I was the only one who got out," says Kiefer. "Five others died including Sahhhhn-ders...or so I thought." Kiefer asks for a few minutes to think this through and hangs up with Soul Patch, Potato Face, and Bitchelle. "Bitch!" he shrieks at the picture of Sahhhhn-ders that remains up on his car computer screen. The time is 05:11:14 AM.