Episode Report Card Jeff Long: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Flaw Week!
By Jeff Long | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.11.2005
It's Panel time. Tyra tells the girls they are looking more like models every week. Coryn looks like a dude. Tyra repeats what the girls will win if they become America's Next Top Model. Everyone has lost perspective at this point. She could be speaking Mandarin Chinese, for all the fuck they give. She presents the judges. Miss J. is wearing that shoulder corsage made of fake roses in different colors. It is truly one of the most stomach-turning concoctions I've seen covering a human. It looks like he sprinted through a funeral on the way to work. And, this man works in fashion. Dear World: A lisp does not mean you have style. Dean and Davis Factor are the guest judges.
During individual evaluations, the girls act like they are on a go-see. Each has to explain why her flaw is an asset. They start out pretty well. Kyle is convincing. Nigel tells Jayla that his client sells earrings, and she says, "Well, I've got a big canvas right here." That's funny. Coryn tells the judges that she can be soft as well as hard. Nicole considers her skin a plus because it makes her original. She looks totally gorgeous, too. Then, Bre starts talking: "There are a lot of things that I don't see wrong with myself. Such as my teeth." She thinks they make her stand out more than a person with straight teeth does. Yeah, people who are bleeding stand out too, but that doesn't make them models. Tyra looks incredulous. Nik explains that big bug eyes are beautiful. She looks and sounds really cute, too, though, a little alien-like. Miss J. asks Diane why he should hire her. She explains that she is a bilingual supermodel. Were we playing Fantasyland or were they supposed to act like themselves? Because, part of being a supermodel is that you don't have to tell people you are a supermodel. Tyra asks her for a sentence in Spanish and English, and when Diane gives it a shot, Tyra says, "You need to work on that English part a little bit." Lisa says she didn't think her lazy eye would be the flaw on which she needed to focus, because there are so many other things wrong with her. Then, she names them: boy chest, uneven lips, gap in her teeth, waistline. Damn, that's brave. Kim shows how she would pose to make her waist look smaller. In Kim fashion, she is fairly dry and takes her time explaining. When she walks away, Nigel makes a gesture indicating that he thinks she talks too much, probably because she doesn't want to sleep with him.
All the girls are brought back. Miss J. tells Diane that she seems unsure of herself. Twiggy concurs. Diane says that she is being herself and Tyra says she isn't, because she is insecure. Nigel explains that they are looking for a "plus-sized personality." Tyra tells her that she is disappearing. ["This is the same shit they used to tell Toccara toward the end. Hey, judges: not all fat people are jolly, okay?" -- Wing Chun] Then, they show her best photo, which looks quite good. Tyra announces that Janice took the photos, and Nigel says, "I always think models make the best photographers." Because, Nigel is a photographer now and he used to be a model. Then, they laugh and show modeling photos from Nigel's younger years. He was hot.