Episode Report Card Jeff Long: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Flaw Week!
By Jeff Long | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.11.2005
We see Janice sitting in Kyle's lap and talking about how she decided to become a model upon seeing Lauren Hutton in a magazine. Then, she asks Kim if she's a lesbian. When Kim replies with an affirmative, Janice says, "That's hot."
Then Janice is lying on a chaise, eating fruit and talking with Bre. Bre asks for a kiss on the lips. Despite my better judgment, I find that really cute. Coryn says she likes Janice because she "doesn't beat around the bush." First of all, what would Coryn know about bush? Second, she hates Lisa for being the same way.
Janice and Lisa meet. Uh-oh. Janice says, "I'm detecting some attitude." Lisa replies, "I don't have any attitude." They sit, and Janice says, "Do you know why I coined the term 'supermodel'? Because I can." Then, she grills Lisa about what she's doing for her career. I get the feeling that, at all times, Janice Dickinson pretty much refuses to talk about anyone but herself. Maybe she's just working it for the cameras, but a good hint is if a lady in her seventies (or however old Janice is) is hoarse like a cheerleader leaving a pep rally. Shut up every once in a while, lady. Rest the cords. Lisa says that she is the healthiest of the girls. Is she kidding?! Janice tells her not to dis the other girls, and Lisa says she isn't dissing anyone. Coryn interjects, "She disses everyone." Lisa does not like this. Janice waves her hand in Lisa's face and says, "I'm Sally Jesse Raphael. You've got to stop dissing everyone right now." (That was a reference to The Surreal Life. Nice plug, Janice.) Janice asks the whole group whether Lisa is always dissing the others. In an interview, a teary Lisa says that Janice doesn't know her. She's bothered that Coryn made her look like the bad one: "I'm just totally offended right now." She's sincerely hurt. Maybe she was too drunk to remember what she'd said. It's clear, though, that she doesn't know she's hurting anyone's feelings. I kind of feel bad for her.
Jay tells Janice that he wants the girls to interact with the set. They are "just not getting it." He wants Janice to "reach down in their throats" and pull "it" out of them -- "it" being an organic plastic surgeon's office improv, I guess.
First up is Nik. She's going to be wearing really long hair extensions. Janice decides that she wants Nik naked under the extensions, à la Lady Godiva. She looks pretty good while they are shooting. In an interview, Nik says she enjoyed working with Janice and she hopes that her mother won't disapprove of her nudity. (Nik's mom, not Janice's. ["Since Janice's -- probably dead since the nineteenth century -- is long past caring." -- Wing Chun])