Episode Report Card Jeff Long: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Flaw Week!
By Jeff Long | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.11.2005
The next day, there is more Tyra Mail! Jayla reads it. I always get a little nervous when one of them tries to read. "In the modeling biz, sometimes you gotta fake it 'til you make it. Be ready at 6:30 AM." It's official: Tyra and Martha Stewart are the most different people on the planet.
When they arrive at the studio, they see that it's set up as an operating room. Bre is frightened and does not understand. Jay is there. Diane says, "Hi, Mr. Jay." And, Jay says, "What you don't know is that my name is Dr. Jay." Retarded segue. Also, why do all of the teacher/judge people have this vaguely scolding attitude to the models? I understand at Panel, because they are being reviewed, but all of the time? It seems like a few people are on a power trip. I'm talking to you, Dr. Jay. The photo shoot is going to be poking fun at people who are obsessed with plastic surgery. Then, Jay says that, for the photographer for the shoot, they needed a supermodel turned "master" photographer. Lauren Hutton? No, Janice Dickinson. Hey, everyone, Janice Dickinson is a master photographe! She comes out to applause and brays, "That's all I get?" Bre says she's sure Janice is going to slaughter her.
During the commercial break, we see an ad of Naima on a go-see. I'd forgotten what a colossal bore she is. And, she's still rocking the 'burns.
After the break, Janice comes out again. Seeing it again, it's even more annoying that she demanded, "Is that all I get?" It's like when some stupid inspirational speaker or sitcom warm-up comedian says, "Is everybody having a good time? I didn't hear you: I said, IS EVERYONE HAVING A GOOD TIME?" Not that I want to participate in such stupid crowd control anyway, but, every once in a while, I scream really loud the first time someone asks something like that. Just to prove that they had always planned to ask twice. I'm just saying that Janice planned on saying, "Is that all I get?" no matter what her introduction was. Small point, I know, but it is annoying.
Lisa is happy to see Janice because she thinks that they are similar in look. Fine. Kim is wearing a possum around her neck.
Janice says that she is the perfect photographer because she has been modeling for thirty years and will be modeling for another thirty. Hopefully, she'll be modeling caskets.
Each model is told what plastic surgery/beauty procedure they will be lampooning during the fashion shoot. This idea is a little odd, since the procedures each girl has to model is arbitrary. You'd think they would focus on what each model's flaw is: that way, they could emphasize their point about making a positive a negative.