Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cry, Wolf
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 01.22.2006
11:43:25. FLOTUS naps in her PJs, Spencer looks nervous at his desk, and Buchanan and Chloe are waiting together in an interrogation room. That can't be good for Spencer. Evelyn goes into FLOTUS's bedroom and starts packing quietly. But it's not quietly enough for FLOTUS to sleep through. Evelyn tries to be cagey, but even in her drugged, groggy state, FLOTUS figures out that "Charles is having me committed." Evelyn just says she's sorry, but she doesn't know what it's about. "It's fine," FLOTUS says exhaustedly. "I'll get dressed." And she hauls herself off the bed and into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Evelyn wonders what she's going to do when FLOTUS comes out wearing a shower curtain as a dress.
CTU. Spencer is frustrated. He's typing and glowering at his computer monitor. He asks Edgar to unlock something for him, and Edgar just flatly says, "No." Spencer stands up to look around for Chloe, which is when a couple of Redshirts show up and tell Spencer that Buchanan wants to see him, stat. Spencer sits down and pleads busy-hood, but the Redshirts aren't having it. "Mr. Stiles has been authorized to take over your workload," one of them says. Spencer asks if Edgar knew about it. "I just got the bulletin. Sorry." Of course, you can totally tell he's not sorry at all. Schadenfreude has zero carbs, you know.
The Redshirts don't take Spencer to Buchanan's office -- or the Situation Room, or even Workstation Four, where McGill displaced Buchanan to when he took over the guy's office. No, instead, they herd Spencer into an interrogation room. This can't be good news. Buchanan and Chloe are already waiting inside, and Buchanan instructs Spencer to sit in the suspect's chair. Spencer complies. Buchanan and Chloe quickly get to the point, although it's a point shrouded in technobabble. The upshot is that they know that Spencer's been up to no good in the computer systems. Spencer pleads innocence, Buchanan looks angry, and Chloe looks angry and hurt and not even remotely horny. She quickly gets into the "bad cop" role, demanding of Spencer, "And while you're at it, why don't you explain why it was necessary to crawl into my bed, which certainly wasn't what it appeared to be, just like your work here isn't what it appeared to be?!" Chloe's bed isn't what it appears to be? What is it, a recharging cradle? That would explain a lot. Buchanan pulls her off before she can climb over the desk and down Spencer's neck, quietly asking her to let him handle it. And then Spencer pulls the dick move of implying that Chloe's accusations are motivated by a girly bout of emotional distress over Spencer's caddish behavior. "I don't think so, Spencer," Buchanan says, rather awesomely. Spencer shuts right down and says, "Sir, I'd like to talk to a lawyer." Buchanan says there ain't going to be no lawyers, and Spencer's going to tell them everything right now. No lawyers? Someone call Amnesty Global!