Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cry, Wolf
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 01.22.2006
The debriefing is already in progress in an upper office, as Diane explains who she thought Kiefer was all this time. "You probably know more about him than I do," she understates to Audrey. Although that's a safe bet, Audrey just says flatly, "We all thought he was dead for the last year and a half." She gets a little backstory from Diane, learning that Kiefer's been renting a room from her for the last six months. Audrey seems a little surprised, if not relieved, to infer that "you don't have a personal relationship with him?" Diane gets a bit prickly, so Audrey explains that she just needs to know whether Kiefer confided in his landlady. Uh, I think we established in minute ten of the season that he doesn't, what with living under her roof under a false identity. Not so much with the confiding was Mr. Frank Flynn. Diane says she knew Kiefer had a secret, but never pushed it. He must have kept up with the rent, then. "I accepted him for who he was," Diane says, which is something no one would ever actually say because it serves no purpose. Aside from, of course, the purpose of stabbing Audrey in the heart with guilt at her failure to appreciate Kiefer's heroic qualities. Remember how she got all owly at him after he tortured and killed her husband? So touchy. Diane continues, unprompted, that Kiefer's secret past doesn't change her feelings for him. "He was good to me, he was good to my son. He meant a lot to is. He still does." Moment. Audrey clears her throat and asks if Kiefer ever had any visitors at Diane's place, or anyone who came asking about him. Diane answers in the negative, but Audrey's already tuned out. That's because behind Diane, through the glass wall of the office, Audrey can now see Kiefer outside the room staring back at her. Moment, moment, moment, moment. Diane turns to see Kiefer, noticing the long look that passes between him and her interviewer. She has plenty of time to get it, even if "it" were being delivered by carrier snail. Kiefer turns and walks away, and Audrey excuses herself. "Yeah," Diane says sadly, realizing she was just gushing about her pretend boyfriend to her pretend boyfriend's real ex. I hate when that happens.
Audrey catches up to Kiefer on the mezzanine for their big reunion, and now we see why Audrey's been wearing flats with her suit: it's because heels would have her towering over Kiefer, and that just wouldn't do. Kiefer whispers that he couldn't tell her he was still alive. "It was for your own protection," he says, which sounds pretty self-serving, until one takes into account the events of this morning. It seems pretty credible then. Audrey brushes that off, saying she spent all this time feeling bad that Kiefer died thinking that she hated him. Kiefer reminds him that he let her husband die, but she cuts him off in order to totally let him off the hook for that. Sars, are you drinking? ["…I llove you guysshh!!1!" -- Sars] Deeply moved, Kiefer thanks her. Audrey takes a step toward him and almost touches him, and who knows what would happen next if only they hadn't been interrupted by a flunky. The interloper informs Kiefer that McGill wants to see him. Audrey emotionally takes her leave. Kiefer watches her go. "Nice shoes," he doesn't say.