Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cry, Wolf
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 01.22.2006
It's 11:54:47 as Kiefer makes his hurried way through the CTU corridors towards the clinic. On the way, he runs into Derek, who's being escorted out of the medical section by a couple of Redshirts. Derek has something to say: he wants to apologize for having thought that Kiefer was "just another loser trying to take advantage of my mom." Kiefer tells Derek that Diane is lucky to have her son looking out for him. "As soon as this is over, I promise you that you and I are going to get a chance to sit down and talk." And then, presumably, make out. He shakes Derek's hand and again tells him to take care of his mom. I assume he's just going to keep repeating that until the kid finally gets the hint and shoots her in the face.
In the interrogation room, Buchanan is still leaning on Spencer, who has given up the innocent act in favor of the mysterious act. "I can't talk to anyone here about this," he explains. Buchanan and Chloe are getting frustrated, but they get a break when Edgar comes in toting a laptop. Or, in Edgar's case, a gut-top. Edgar shows Buchanan what Spencer's been up to. "Why are you tracking Jack Bauer?" Buchanan demands of Spencer. Spencer insists he's following orders, but he won't say whose. Buchanan sends Chloe to have Security find Kiefer now.
Kiefer enters Tony's hospital room, and introduces himself to the white-coated man near the door. The doctor reminds Kiefer to "keep it brief," and Kiefer thanks him. He crosses to Tony's bed, and it looks like Tony's fallen asleep again. Kiefer leans over his friend to try to rouse him gently. As he does so, he happens to glance up at the blank monitor over the bed. What he sees there is very worrisome. No, it's not a flat EKG. It's the reflection of the "doctor," reaching behind himself and pulling out a gun, which he points at Kiefer. Worst doctor ever! Without turning around, Kiefer gives the crash cart behind him a mighty kick, and it rolls into the doctor, who is of course actually Hank the "computer maintenance guy." While pushing the cart aside, "Dr." Hank misses his chance for a clean shot. Kiefer closes with him, getting inside his gun arm and pointing the weapon away from himself. And towards Tony, I would be remiss in not pointing out. Four rounds whistle through the air over Tony's bed before Kiefer twists Hank's arm around, smacks the gun down, and kicks it away. Now it's hand-to-hand, and it's quickly apparent that Hank is not only bigger than Kiefer, but stronger, faster and more vicious as well. He bounces Kiefer off the concrete wall, then stomps on his chest while he's down. There's a nasty crunch, and then they're down on the ground together, grappling at each other's throats. Hank reaches for a pair of surgical scissors near Kiefer's head, and as Kiefer turns to see what Hank's getting, he also spots the dead doctor, visible through the gap under Tony's bed. Physician, heal thyself. Hank finally gets his hand on the scissors, which he's slowly forcing towards Kiefer's throat. But through some application of Kiefer-fu, our hero manages to jab the point into the side of Hank's throat. Hank struggles and rolls over on his back, and Kiefer reaches out and smacks the blades further in, resulting in a gout of blood spilling from Hank's mouth. Ew. Yeah, that's one of those moments where the show earns its graphic violence warning. Kiefer sits back, his expression pained, and wraps an arm around his torso.