Episode Report Card Strega: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Virtual Insanity
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 08.17.2000
Crichton: Are you or are you not blue?
Zhaan: Would it matter to you if I was?
Crichton: Do you always answer a question with a question?
Zhaan: Does that bother you?
I think she's really Eliza. Crichton, exasperated and also rather sweaty, says that she's a plant, and that they once shared unity. Zhaan smirks, "Interesting euphemism." Crichton gulps down his water and tells her to put her hands on his face. They do the unity vogue moves, there's a second of mystic music, and then... zilch. Crichton pulls his hands away and sighs, "Damn." He sits down on a leather couch and gripes that he was hoping for an ally. Zhaan, concerned, asks, "You feel you don't have any allies?" He says no, "and [his] enemies haven't revealed themselves yet." He goes over the suspects: "The Ancients? Nah, they picked my brain already. Maldis? Not his style. Not gothic enough. Delvians! Mm, yeah, Occam's Razor. Tahleen and her wacky bunch!" While he babbles on, Zhaan tells her secretary, "Cancel my three o'clock appointment. In fact, cancel the rest of my day."
Crichton hustles out onto a parking deck, where DK is waiting for him. Crichton rolls his eyes and tries to hurry along as DK asks how the session went. Crichton says he told Zhaan/Cominsky "everything she wanted to hear," and that he's fine now. A sporty red convertible races up nearby, tires squealing and radio blasting smooth jazz. Odd music to blast, really. Someone shouts, "Yeaaaaah, woo!" as the car spins to a stop. Crichton stares as the door opens, and we see white platform golf shoes lowered out of the car. Pan up: pleated pants, a mod shirt, and D'Argo's head. Man, that's jarring. D'Argo suaves, "Ladiessss," at some nearby girls dressed in tan military uniform. Weird. Oh, wait, I get it: they're a cute pack of khaki WACs who'll give D'Argo a bone. DK identifies D'Argo: "Gary Ragel. Newest hotshot to come out of IASA astronaut training. Watch your back, he's got ambition." Oh no, ambition! Crichton points out that Gary also has tentacles, but DK calmly says it's just "a lifestyle choice." He adds that the guy is a jerk, just as D'Argo/Gary makes his way over for high fives and invites them out for some beer. DK sniffs that they don't have time for beer. Crichton's willing, though. As long as he can drive. D'Argo agreeably tosses him the car keys and grabs DK's head as he smirks, "My friend, one thing you're gonna have to learn: there is always time for beer." He's not wrong.