Episode Report Card Strega: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Virtual Insanity
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 08.17.2000
Cut to a dark bar. Crichton and D'Argo have settled at a table with a pitcher of beer. Crichton announces that he has a theory. Does it involve bunnies? He says, "I am some alien's personal science project." I was close. D'Argo chortles, "I so know how you feel," and suggests they get another drink. Even though there's still beer in his mug. And in the pitcher. Crichton insists that he's going to sabotage the scheme by refusing to react to the weirdness. Yeah, like he has that kind of self-control. In the background behind Crichton there's a band playing a bass-heavy jazz number, and because I've watched too much Twin Peaks, I start to suspect that they're in Canada. Crichton turns around in his seat and stares. Scorpius, wearing a blue vest over his usual get-up, is playing the drums in the combo. Pilot is playing bongos and a keyboard. Aeryn suddenly pulls Crichton's head backwards as she drunkenly tells him to buy her a drink. He enthuses, "Oh. My. God. The off-duty doctor joined us!" and introduces her to D'Argo. They trade "hi"s, and then Aeryn sits on D'Argo's lap and gives him a long kiss. Crichton tensely asks if they know each other. Aeryn frowns at him, "No." D'Argo loudly calls for more drinks, and at least their mugs seem to be empty this time. Crichton sulkily heads to the bar to get another round.
At the bar, Crichton runs into Scorpius. Who is not wearing a vest. Crichton glances back at the band, and the other Scorpius is still playing drums there. Crichton continues refusing to care, polishes off the rest of his beer, and asks the bartender for another pitcher. Then he tensely tells Scorpius, "Dig your style, Ringo." Scorpius starts to say that there isn't much time, and Crichton interrupts: "Twins. Pity your mother." As, in fact, he should. Scorpius insists that the drummer isn't real. Crichton asks, "So, what's your name? Who do you play in this fun house?" Scorpius says that he is, of course, Scorpius. The soundtrack gets ominous as Crichton observes, "You got no Halloween costume, got no assumed name. You're not playing a role. That suggests something to me. That suggests that you are --" He suddenly shoves Scorpius into the bar and snaps, "The man behind the curtain!" Scorpius calmly says that actually, he's the only one who can help. Crichton angrily asks if Scorpius is looking for wormholes again. Scorpius glances toward the camera and says that he has to leave. Crichton disagrees, and shoves Scorpius across the floor. As Scorpius stumbles out of the shot, Crichton freezes and shudders. He gasps as if choking, and the soundtrack pulses with static as he collapses onto a table. D'Argo and Aeryn glance over, and Crichton opens his eyes to look at Scorpius playing the drums. Zoom in on Crichton's eye, and we see Scorpius's face replacing his pupil. And also his iris. It's like Scorpius is a little nesting doll! Aw. They should totally make a nesting doll that's like, Moya, and inside it the Farscape, and inside it Crichton, and inside him Scorpius/Harvey, and then you just keep layering Crichtons and Scorpiuses ("Scorpii"?) until you're using tweezers.