Episode Report Card Strega: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Virtual Insanity
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 08.17.2000
The four of them zoom down a road in a red convertible, shouting and laughing. Crichton declares that he's got a new theory: "Life sucks. Nothing matters. Screw it all. Let's party!" Chiana leans forward from the back seat and urges him to "enjoy it while it lasts." Then there's a faint splat, and Crichton looks ahead unhappily to see Scorpius on the hood of the car, leaning over the windshield. Scorpius tsks, "This is no time to be having fun, John." Crichton turns on the wipers and tells him to get lost. Scorpius grunts as the wiper swats him, hee, but continues, "You've got to focus. Fight this delusion." Crichton says he doesn't believe anything Scorpius says. We see some kind of tanker truck approaching, and Crichton tells Scorpius, "It's time to bail." He steers the car straight for the truck. Everyone screams, and we cut to...
... the hospital. Crichton is back on the exam table. He sits up just as Aeryn arrives. She's back in her lab coat, and also has gigantic curlers all over her head. I like to believe this happened because some PA said, "We're ready to shoot, but Claudia's hair isn't ready." And the director said, "Go with it." Aeryn tells Crichton, "The truck won, I'm afraid." She pokes an otoscope into his ear while confirming that D'Argo and Chiana are okay. Crichton asks if their survival seems at all unlikely to her. Aeryn figures they were all very lucky. She finally finishes with his ear and says that he has a visitor, then sticks a tongue depressor in his mouth. With some difficulty, Crichton asks who it is: "Daa? Dee-hay?" She says it's someone new, and leaves while Crichton keeps guessing: "A Sheyang? Captain Bailar Crais? Bring 'em on!" He falls silent as a woman stands in the doorway. The visitor says, "Thank God you're okay. I came as soon as I could." She walks over, reaching out toward him, and Crichton recoils and gasps, "Don't! This is a pretty good trick, considering you're dead...Mom." Ma Crichton says that she had to come, and strokes his head. He leans back from her touch, not quite able to summon the strength to avoid her, and closes his eyes as he insists she's not real. Ma notices that he's sweating, and pulls him down into a hug as she strokes his back and tells him not to worry. Crichton shudders as she whispers, "I'll make everything all right," but finally leans his head against her shoulder. Ouch. This recap took me for-freaking-ever to do because it's hard to make jokes about the funny parts, and it's even harder to make jokes about the unfunny parts.