Episode Report Card Jessica: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ego Tripping At The Gates Of Hell
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.05.2002
Me: What?
Kevin Williamson: Just officially denying responsibility for any of this.
Me: I -- wait, that's my other line. …Hello?
Debbie Harry: I'm suing the WB for defamation of character and pain and suffering. Can I count on your support as a witness for the prosecution?
Me: Sure.
Debbie Harry: Thank you. And tell Williamson that I'm going to kick his ass.
Audrey yells tunelessly. And yet Jen looks entertained. So do David, Blandy, and Joey. They must have dubbed the music in later, because I imagine that anyone in such close proximity to Audrey's performance would find themselves spontaneously bleeding from the ears. Oliver watches expressionlessly. Everything's fine -- well, aside from the music -- until Audrey knocks over the microphone stand. Emma, behind the drum set, looks slightly concerned. Then Audrey starts dancing around like a maniac, her horribly out-of-tune yelping getting even worse. Jen's face is frozen in a pained smile. Oliver shakes his head as Audrey climbs off the stage and goes into the crowd. Emma bangs the drums and looks pissed. Blandy shrugs at Jen as Audrey climbs on the bar and starts gyrating, kicking light fixtures, turning on the beer taps, and generally being a total ass. Joey looks both appalled and concerned. Audrey kicks some glasses to the ground, throws a full plate of French fries to the floor, and takes a full bottle of beer and launches it toward David, Blandy, and Jen, all of whom neatly duck as it smashes into the wall. Finally, she rips off her shirt. (That is the cutest longline bra! All plaid and with lace! Anyway. Sorry. Back to the horror.) Oliver looks around his destroyed bar and puts his head in his hands. Jen looks disgusted. Blandy looks concerned. Emma is pissed. Finally, Audrey wraps it up by yelping one final note and spitting on the bar. People "woo" politely, although I think some of them are actually booing. Wait, that might just be me. Joey looks over at Oliver, who shoots her an "I told you so!" look. Actually, it's more of a "I told you so! And have I mentioned that I am incredibly hot?" look. Because he is. Hot. And I don't even like the grungy wrong-side-of-the-tracks needs-a-haircut type boy!
Ack! Is that Prof. Creepy on Charmed, kissing Alyssa Milano? Poor Demian.
The bathroom at Liberty Hell's Kitchen is nasty. Joey holds Audrey's hair as she vomits into a particularly skangy toilet. Ouch. I've been there. Both positions. It's hard to say which is less pleasant, but I will say that it takes a good friend to hold your hair while you barf, and you should treasure that person. Hallmark should make a line of cards for that. "Okay, I think that's everything," Audrey announces weakly. "I think there's some intestine in there," she comments, as Joey hands her a tissue to wipe her mouth and suggests getting Audrey some water. They walk out of the stall, but they don't flush! Oh, girls! That's rule number one of vomiting! Get rid of the vomit as soon as possible afterwards! Joey asks Audrey how much she drank. "Clearly, I don't remember," Audrey snaps. Joey shifts her weight and says that she doesn't want to sound like an Afterschool Special, but that this sort of behavior isn't like Audrey. Audrey wonders what, exactly, is like her. "I could have been an alkie since age six, you don't know," she brats. Oh, heavens. I feel for Joey, in a way. Nothing is worse than the bad drunk friend who doesn't get why her constant booziness is a drag. I do agree that drinking in college is normal, and I certainly know that plenty of college students spend plenty of time getting wasted -- trust me, I drank my fair share in college, and I drink my fair share now. But it's also true that sometimes you get drunk for fun and sometimes you get drunk because you're having issues, and that's an important distinction no matter how old you are. If the case with Audrey is the latter -- and this does seem to be the case -- then I don't see anything wrong with Joey saying something to her. On the other hand, I've been in Joey's shoes, and I can tell you that your drunken friend will probably not react well to your telling her that she's no fun when she's wasted. But sometimes you just have to clear your slate with people. Anyway. This paragraph has been brought to you by apologists for Joey Potter.