Episode Report Card Jessica: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ego Tripping At The Gates Of Hell
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.05.2002
Me: Hello?
Kevin Williamson: Nor do I have anything to do with Joey's hair.
Me: Duly noted.
Back at the bar, Oliver grins that he and Joey have a real "Sam and Diane" thing going on. "Not," Evil Dr. Will says in a muffled tone from my bedroom, followed by the soft tap of a box lid closing shut. Joey informs Oliver that he's got her all wrong. "I'm a girl from the wrong side of the tracks," she says. "You don't want to mess with me." Oliver grins that he's not so sure. "I kind of like it when you get all Foxfire on me." Joey grins, revealing rows of newly brightened teeth. She informs Oliver that he's awfully lucky she has class now, because tonight? They rumble. I do love a good old-fashioned rumble. Oliver wonders if she has nothing better to do on her night off than hang around the bar. Joey exposits that Hell's Belles are "going to rock the house down," and she has to be there to watch Audrey continue to destroy any residual goodwill the audience may have for her. She smiles at Oliver, and leaves for class. Oliver looks after her fondly. "I'll see you later, Joey," he calls. She gives him The Classic Joey Potter Tongue Between The Teeth Smile, and leaves. Oliver goes back to his book, The Power and The Glory: The Story of Joey Potter's It.
Credits. "Are we watching this again?" asks the Agent Scully action figure. "I don't like this song," the Mulder complains. "Would the two of you shut up for once?" I ask. I'm sorry; I'm crabby. Sometimes I take it out on the tiny talking plastic people who live in my house. It's just that these credits are horribly misleading. They indicate that the primary characters on this show actually have any sort of interaction, ever, which we all know is untrue.
Professor Unambiguously Closeted's class. As Jen and Jack walk in and find their seats, Jen asks what's going on with Jack and tiny gay elfin David. Jack tells her to mind her own "furtive gropings." He's quick to admit that "it wasn't like that," but "there was coffee, there was talking, and [he doesn't] want to jinx it." Aw. I like David. And I just want Jack to be happy, even if Kerr Smith himself seems to be a bit of a drag. The two of them sit down as Jen coos that "someone's got to be getting some." She admits that she's not making a lot of progress cracking Blandy's nut, so to speak. Jack looks guilty, but says nothing. I wonder why he hasn't told her that Blandy told him that he -- Blandy -- doesn't like Jen that way. I know he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, and maybe he doesn't think it's any of his business, but if I were Jack, I think I'd have to tell her, if only to save her from further humiliation and to prevent her from getting any deeper into the I Love Blandy! mindset. Instead, Jack just says that he's meeting David in the cafeteria after class. "Can I come?" Jen asks, explaining that Blandy will probably be there. Jack shifts in his seat and looks uncomfortable, wondering if maybe Jen should call it a day with the whole Blandy thing. He points out that Jen even admitted that "this level of effort is beneath [her]." Jen looks at him with her mouth open. "You can't hold the ultimatums of Party Jen against me!" she yelps. "I was wearing a wig! I was feeling crazy." Jack snarkily suggests that Jen bring Grams to the cafeteria, too. "Maybe I will, " Jen snickers. Jack smirks as Professor Unambiguously Closeted approaches the lectern and class begins. Professor Unambiguously Closeted opens his lecture by announcing that he's leaving Boston Bay College at the end of the semester. Having successfully published his book, Boring Essays About Pop Culture By A Guy Who's Totally Out Of Touch With His Own Life, he's taking a teaching gig in Chicago. He is having a book signing at IDidn'tCatchTheName Hall, however, and he'd like to see them there, as they've been a great class. Jen and Jack look stunned. "Did you know about this?" Jen whispers. Jack shakes his head and tells her that he had no idea. And I really don't get why he would: Jack and Professor Unambiguously Closeted aren't really involved. A few enormously awkward interactions do not a relationship make, my romance with the really hot UPS guy at the office notwithstanding.