Episode Report Card Jessica: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ego Tripping At The Gates Of Hell
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.05.2002
Back in Boston, Jen and Blandy leave the bar as David stays to see if Jack will show up. Jen tells Blandy that she's going to kick Jack's ass if he stands David up. Blandy shrugs that David is a patient man. Jen turns and smiles widely at Blandy, telling him that she's so glad he came out. She reminds him that he once told her to change her mind about herself, and she thinks he ought to try to practice what he preaches. She shoots him the Please Kiss Me Now look, and then goes in for the kill. Blandy cuts her off at the pass, though, and says he can't kiss her. Jen's face falls, understandably. He assures her that his rejection has nothing to with her; she's beautiful and great. He just can't date anyone. Oh, that's a crock of shit. I don't believe him for a second. "Okay," Jen says, trying to put on a brave face. Oh, that poor girl. We have all been there. And if you haven't been…well, you are one lucky asshole. Blandy puts Jen in a cab and sends her far, far away from him.
He looks across the street, where Audrey is sitting on the curb and smoking. She yelps that she's only had a couple of puffs. Blandy sits next to her and says that he doesn't care if she smokes. Audrey acts shocked, and snarks that she thought she was attached to some kind of LoJack system that alerted people in her vicinity if she did anything vaguely wrong, so that they could all run over and shit on her. Oh, poor Audrey! It's so hard when your friends don't understand that sometimes you just have to get loaded and toss beer bottles at the heads of innocent bystanders. Did I mention that I hate Audrey? She is now officially unsalvageable, as far as I am concerned. "I also hate Audrey," the Scully says from the action-figure hot tub (which is a mug of warm water). "Me, too," the Mulder says, picking his teeth with a push pin. "Ouch." There's a bang in the bedroom. "Another vote for hate!" Evil Dr. Will calls. "Audrey blows," Joey's It says from the kitchen, where It's getting a beer. The phone rings. "I had nothing to do with Audrey," Kevin Williamson says.
"People have been pretty hard on you tonight, haven't they?" Blandy asks. Audrey sighs that the funny thing is that when she was drunk, she was having "a super old time," but now she's sober and everything sucks. Welcome to alcoholism, Audrey. Also, as someone who has gotten drunk to the point of vomiting, I can safely say that once the vomit makes an appearance, it's nature's way of telling me to go to bed to pray for the room to stop spinning. What kind of magic booze was Audrey drinking? Blandy tells her that her friends are just trying to let her know they care. Audrey informs Blandy that it's not like she's "a drunk." She just wanted to forget her suck-ass week. Blandy wonders if drinking made her feel better. "I feel nothing, which is ideal," Audrey tells him. "How long do you plan to keep this up?" Blandy asks. "I don't know. I don't know," Audrey says quickly, then gives him the once-over and tells him that he doesn't have to talk to her if he doesn't want to. Blandy assures her that if he didn't want to be there, he would have walked away already. Audrey sighs. "Okay, so we'll sit," she says. "But I don't want to talk for a while." Blandy just smiles at her and hands her his gloves. She smiles at him and puts them on. You know what they say: no glove, no love. Wow. I'm sorry. That was weak.