Episode Report Card Jessica: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ego Tripping At The Gates Of Hell
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.05.2002
New Orleans. Pacey apparently has Bobby Briggs Radar, because he tracks the man down in the middle of the night in the middle of the street, in New Orleans. And man, is Pacey pissed! He can't believe that Bobby Briggs bought him a whore! Whatever happened to just buying a man a drink? Or a wall, for Pete's sake? "You're not morally opposed to ladies of the night, are you?" Bobby Briggs asks. "Dude! Witter schtupped a whore!" one of the boys with Briggs yells. That might be my favorite line from this show, like, ever. Pacey is quick to point out that he didn't have no sex with no hooker. Bobby Briggs is disgusted. "You didn't even do it? Do you have a problem down there? Or did you just have a problem taking off your little dress?" he asks. Oh, Christ. This couldn't get more unrealistic if Bobby Briggs ripped off his face and revealed that he's actually an alien from the planet Zarlkon. "I'd like that," the Mulder action figure says. Pacey can't believe this! He can't! He's appalled! I think he ought to be grateful that at least his whore didn't turn out to be a man, a la Steve Sanders. But Bobby Briggs swears it wasn't a joke. He was trying to be nice! And that whore wasn't cheap! Pacey yells up and down the street that he forgot it was all about money for Mr. Bobby Briggs! "The only favor I want you to do for me is to take me off your charity list!" Pacey finally yells. "Because you're pathetic, man." He tries to walk away. Bobby Briggs yells that he really doesn't get why Pacey's got his panties in a knot. "I must be real dumb, because it seems like you owe me," he says. And Pacey whirls around on his heel and attacks him, with the full intention of kicking Bobby's ass. The fellow stockbrokers have to break them up. "I'm real impressed with your moral outrage! No need to get violent!" Bobby Briggs yells. Pacey finally just walks away. "When are you going to realize that fighting the good fight's not worth it?" Bobby calls after him. When are the writers going to realize that no one cares about Pacey's relationship with his boss?
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. David's finally leaving the bar when Jack leaps out of a cab. "I can't believe you're still here," he says, hastening to add that he's glad he caught him. Jack explains that he kept "missing the window of opportunity" to escape. David just shoots him an amused and incredulous look. "I'm not being too convincing, am I?" Jack asks. David grins and tells Jack that he doesn't expect Jack to be baggage-free. "You can't really move into a new relationship without being sure that the old one isn't going to lurch up from the dead one last time, so do what you've got to do," he says. "I did," Jack says. "I mean, I didn't. I didn't have to." David chuckles that Jack doesn't have to report to him. Jack smiles and says that he just wants to make sure that he's done repeating his mistakes. "And I am," he says. "Cool," David says. "Yeah, cool," Jack says. They begin to walk down the street together. "You missed one hell of an act," David says. "It'll be tough to top?" Jack offers. "Oh, it's awfully presumptuous to assume we're going out again," David tells him. The boys laugh and laugh. God bless charming, seemingly normal, cute little David. I am not looking forward to the episode where I turn against him and have to start making fun of how short he is.