Episode Report Card Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.16.2007
Up on the balcony, Lechero is less than amused, but the guys on the ground are really unhappy because Michael has not followed the fight to its mandated conclusion and killed his opponent. We pause for where the commercial break would go, and when we get back, there's some more punching, Michael manages to fell his opponent once more...but someone's just tossed the big slab of belligerent beef a knife. He's about to knife Michael in the back when Mahone comes out of the crowd, grabs the guy by the knife wrist, neatly doubles him over, disarms him, and guts him like a trout. It is elegant, efficient, deadly and disturbingly hot. Mahone then shouts, "No weapons -- rules are rules, remember? If we don't have them, we're savages." I think if you continue to carry on like that, my homicidal hottie, I'll remember anything you'd like. Up on the balcony, T-Bag looks thoughtful. Lechero looks grim as he realizes he's got a killing machine in here with him and Michael is still very much alive. Well, that backfired magnificently.
Meanwhile in Panama City, Linc is learning that Exposed Gleaming Sternum is not considered acceptable attire in the restaurant. However, the maitre'd is careful to point out that Exposed Gleaming Sternum Plus Dinner Jacket is A-OK. Linc heads into the kitchen and flashes a wad of bills. A minute later, we see him striding into the restaurant in the same outfit, now with busboy jacket. Hee! I like this new, inventive Lincoln. He heads to the bar and asks for a water. A woman at the bar -- the same one we will all remember from the opening scene -- quips, "Please tell me you didn't come all the way to Panama for the water." Linc tersely replies, "Family." The lady busts him on his jacket, and Linc smiles ruefully, "It's a long story." There's a little more back-and-forth, and we get a good shot of the scratches on her face. Linc asks bluntly, "What happened to your face?" She lies, "Cat." Linc says skeptically, "That's a big cat." The woman says philosophically, "You push anything into a corner too far and the claws will come out." Linc pauses and tries to let the mystery lady down gently, telling her it isn't the right time. As he goes to walk off, she says, "Yes, it is, Lincoln. We have a lot to discuss -- specifically your brother." Then she pushes across a smartphone and says, "I highly suggest you talk to him."
And we're back at Sona, so perhaps Lincoln has taken that advice? The girl who was hollering about her dead husband is back. And she's back to hollering. We see a few military trucks roll up and park mere meters from Stringy's felled body, and then we see what must be a routine exchange: cans of liquid (water? fuel?) go in, and the latest crop of dead bodies is carried out. To make sure everyone's really dead and not mostly dead, the military dudes shoot each body in the head. Michael notes this grimly. The bodies are then set right outside the prison walls, and someone explains to the mystery lady that the bodies will be buried right there unless someone feels like stepping up to make their own funeral arrangements.