Episode Report Card Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.16.2007
Meanwhile, Mahone has managed to avoid worrying about such trifling matters as food, drink or personal security, because he is going through a raging case of drug withdrawal. I would love to see the diplomat swing by all, "The good news is, the sweating, shaking, and feeling of wanting to crawl out of your skin are distracting you from noticing what a hellhole this is. The bad news is, you're doomed to spend your withdrawal time flashing back to the assorted deeds that landed you here in the first place: killing Oscar Shales and burying him in your yard; heading up the manhunt and killing members of Team Escarpara for the One World Conspiracy; killing Agent Von Blondie. Also, because you're not miserable enough, you'll also flash back to the wife and son you left behind. Bet you wish you had that Trainspotting-style withdrawal with creepy babies climbing on the ceiling, huh?" And then, because Mahone is not miserable enough, along comes Michael to glower at him.
Mahone heads over and Michael asks, "What do you want. Alex?" Mahone replies, "I want a doll! I want a doll!" Oh, not really. What Mahone wants to do is vent a little: "You're so clever! Like planting the drugs on the boat, that's the big irony, a law man in jail." Michael says coldly, "You are exactly where you belong." Mahone replies, "No, that's where you're wrong, and that's where you're going to help me. I will have a court date one of these days, and you will be there, on the stand, and you will tell the truth." Oh, I hope it happens -- "Yes, your honor, I framed him for the drugs, but that's only because I was angry about him killing my dad, and kidnapping my brother, and shooting some other people I wasn't very fond of, and trying to kill me." And then Mahone's lawyer would just bang his head slowly against the edge of the table.
Anyway, Michael asks Mahone what the One World Conspiracy wants with him, but Mahone's like, "If I actually knew anything useful, would I be rotting in this hellhole?" He protests that he and Michael are really both victims here, so why not just work together because "this is the first day of the rest of our lives." Michael's not buying it; he gets on his high horse and rides off with, "Every time I look at you, all I can see is the man who killed my father. You're on your own."
Outside Sona, a leather-lunged lass is hollering, in Spanish, "My husband! Bring him out! I know he was killed last night! Someone called!" Linc hoves into view, then jogs off again before the guards can confuse the light glinting off his chest with a weapon of some sort and open fire. We see him head into the visitor's office. A smirking nun is busy signing in. Once she's let through -- the guard making it abundantly clear that he'll be heading to confession later owing to his blasphemous thoughts -- Linc lurches forward. The guard is not as happy to see him, and spouts some legalese that basically amounts to "Your estate cannot sue if something happens to you during visiting hours." The guard adds, "Any attempt to assist an inmate with escape will be met with a lethal response." Linc deadpans, "Wouldn't dream of it." Ha! Who knew the big lug had such a sly sense of humor?