Episode Report Card Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.16.2007
Then Lechero walks over to Mahone and says he's up to date on the plotline through the first fifteen minutes of the show. He then exposits some more about how people settle their differences in Sona: if you've got a problem with someone, you hand them a chicken foot, and that's the cue for a one-on-one fight to the death. No doubt thinking that he can use Michael for some escape, Mahone assures Lechero it won't be necessary to wield the chicken foot. He also catches a little flack for having the gall to go through extreme withdrawal.
However, Mahone gets off light compared to the guy next to him, who pees his pants in sheer terror the minute Lechero looks at him. Lechero immediately begins beating the guy about the head and shoulders; it is like watching the Ike Turner method of paper-training a puppy. After a minute of this, Michael shouts, "I think he gets the message." And it bears repeating: shouting Scofield = hot Scofield. Lechero disagrees. He gets up in Michael's face and postures for a bit before concluding as he taps a chicken foot on Michael's temple, "You're a brave man. You're lucky I've been meditating. Before, I couldn't take my finger off the trigger, but now … now I have mind control. Complete control. Mind, body and soul. So namaste, motherfucker." I may have embellished a little at the end there.
After the inmates skedaddle, Sister Magdalene and her cleavage come over to comment, "Who would have thought...a famous person in Sona?" If you want a few more, there's a raft of drunken and/or drugged twentysomething nitwits we can ship down to you. Hell, we could probably even throw in a US Weekly writer ("Inmates -- they're just like us! They do yoga..."). Lechero frets that people are blinded by celebrity and will worship it and frets, "As you can tell, there are many people of weak character behind these walls. Yes, they will follow a man like this. They will put him on a pedestal. He has an [sic]...charisma." How Lechero got that from a man who's been trying to make himself practically invisible is anyone's guess, but we might as well set up the season's great antagonistic relationship early on. Then we go into a ridiculous exchange that can best be summed up below:
Lechero: Tell me the truth: he's prettier than me.
Sister Magdalene: No, baby, no.
Lechero: You can be honest. I can take it.
Sister Magdalene: Okay, fine I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating nachos.