Episode Report Card Potes: C | 13 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Penny Lame
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.18.2013
After a bit, Joe Gorga asks for the attention of the crowd and proposes his group Arizona spa trip. Juicy confirms that Arizona is by Vegas, and everyone says they are more or less in. Rosie is enthusiastic about it, while Caroline just sort of nods a tight-lipped assent. As they cheers, Joe Gorga tells us that he's a genius since there's nothing like vacation to bond people, and everyone gets along on vacation. Um. EXCEPT FOR THESE VERY PEOPLE, ON VACATION TOGETHER LAST YEAR. Salut! And then belly dancers comes out, Rosie makes it rain, Juicy proves he can dance Arabic, and Melissa looks awfully comfortable in stilettos on a floor filled with one dollar bills.
After a break, the Gorga family tortures Melissa by throwing chunks of ice at her after she's done her hair. And speaking of hair, Teresa calls to invite Melissa to the launch of her new hair care line. She warns her that there will be a lot of salon people there, and she can't control who comes to her events. Because the infamous Jan and Penny are salon owners, they RSVP'ed that they were coming. Alls Teresa knows is that if Melissa wants a perfect opportunity to confront them and ask them why they're spreading nasty rumors about her ON CAMERA, this is it. She wants to engage in the strategy of confronting these bitches together, per Dr. V.'s advice, and says that she'll definitely have Melissa's back. Once off the phone, Melissa explains the situation to Joe, who still seems to believe that the Pennys and Jans and Kim Ds of the world are Teresa's minions, and have been doing her Gorga takedown dirty work for two years. Melissa is sick of bitches trying to bring her down, and says that they can dig to China but they're still not going to find anything on her. Joe is going to come to the hair care launch with Melissa and says he wishes he was a girl, because he'd be laying bitches out.
Kathy visits Caroline in Hoboken, and Caroline talks up all the benefits of city apartment living before the two women compare notes about their husbands. Kathy is frustrated that Richie is making decisions without her that concern her business, and tells us that she and Caroline are at the same place in life with their old-fashioned, traditional husbands. Caroline suggests that Kathy sit down with Rich and tell him that she has to love every aspect of what she's doing vis-à-vis cannoli making. If it's something you're passionate about, says Caroline, you have to speak up for it even if it means a confrontation with your husband. They joke about how Richie is probably stalking them, likely with a gross dirty comment at the ready.