Episode Report Card Jacob: A+ | 120 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Big Rocks & Candy Mountains
By Jacob | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2009.08.24
Andy says that Audra makes him feel like every other woman was wrong, a mistake -- the bored elevator women are intrigued -- and he asks if she feels that way about Judah. Nancy points out that there are different loves and different marriages, and you can't rank them. She's right. She's right about all of it, of course, but Andy's not hearing her: there are as many ways to be in love as there are people to be in love with. But from his direction, he's a hammer so everything looks like the same kind of nail. The nails that look more like Nancy -- or in Mags' case, look more like the opportunity to screw his brother and thus screw Nancy -- are more attractive, but they're still just nails. Romance.
Cesar speaks up, and the whole crowded elevator listens to him: "I've been married for 27 years. We have three beautiful children, and a deep abiding love. But our glue is made from sharing, connecting, communicating. And I never bring my work home." Andy loves it, because that's how he feels. Or to be more specific, how he would like to feel, once he leapfrogs over all the messy living that got Cesar there, and uses Audra to transform himself.
Ignacio gets on the elevator of Celia's condo, still wearing his dog mask, and looks down at a smoking housewife from central casting with curlers in her hair and a Pomeranian on a leash. At Celia's door, he smashes through eventually, crying because it hurt so bad, and then grabs the bowling bag full of cash and runs off.
Nancy and Cesar are dealing with a gay admin on the 11th floor now, who responds to her screaming with a maddening calm and an ironic, pissy "Learn the fucking language." She keeps going, demanding Esteban, demanding this and that, and he's like, "Yeah, keep speaking to me in English. It's obviously getting you somewhere." She demands somebody who speaks English, and he pushes some more of her buttons, and finally Cesar carries her away from him -- sticking her tongue out like a demon at this point -- and putting her down. Cesar threatens the guy meanly, and he gives him a heaping helping of 'tude as well, and it's "Free Goat" levels of amazing/viscerally frustrating. Maybe "Punishment Light" even. They have nailed bureaucracy once again. This is the best episode of the season, I think.
Nancy asks Andy if he ever thinks about going back and doing things differently, and Andy says right now he'd like to time travel to 1974: "What To Wear To An Orgy," he reads. "Apparently the presence of underwear signals your desired level of participation." She's grateful to have moved on from the lame quiz, but saying so signals her desired level of participation, so he goes back to it. This one is rough, if '70s-inflected: what fuels the search for true love? A) Passion. B) The need for sex. C) Emotional and financial support. D) The basic human need to feel connected, and leave the prison of alone-ness.