Episode Report Card Jacob: A+ | 120 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Big Rocks & Candy Mountains
By Jacob | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2009.08.24
Cesar appears and says they have to go to the sixth floor, but first they need a number, and Nancy's bored so she hands him part of a wad of cash to buy a better number. He takes the larger remainder, and vanishes again, and Andy says they should take the love quiz in the magazine to determine who gets the ring. Nancy points out that quizzes are bullshit and that it's 1974 anyway, and Andy says that the criteria for amor are eternal, and maybe she's just balking because she can't handle the fact that his love for Audra is like a red rose. So she starts. 1) When you are away from your love, and you think of him, do you feel: A) Joyful B) Sad C) Lonely or D) Horny. Andy stares at her, because all of the above all of the time.
Celia shows up at a lucha match with a giant purse full of money. Ignacio's giving autographs and, she can smell, has triumphed. "El Perro Insano always triumphs!" Ignacio yells, to much appreciation, and a cute little white nerd points out that he was actually defeated by El Doctor on two separate occasions. Ignacio responds by ripping up his tarjeta in his face and howling, of course, so everybody cheers and the kid is whatever and Celia's like, "EXCUSE ME HOW DO I DO OUR DRUG DEAL?" He tells her to leave the money and take the weed, duh, and she realizes that its beauty lies in its simplicity, but then notices a black guy in a fedora with a police badge, and panics. She runs off, and Ignacio screams all manner of threats at her, but I was more worried about the cop guy, who looks totally weird, like the cop guy from 7th Heaven that now plays the school counselor on The Secret Life Of Imaginary Unrealistic People. Which thought made me feel weird, but then he's obviously a plant in this Isabel Plan, so I got the shivers thinking it was Doug in blackface, but then I was like, "No way, not even this show." And then I just felt guilty for going there.
Question 27. Is friendship, in matters of true love: 1) Overblown, 2) Fundamental, 3) A waste of time, or 4) A bonus. He goes, "Glad you asked that!" And she tells him to stop giving speeches every time, because it's frickin' multiple choice. "There are certain nuances that merit examination..." he begins, and she's like, "Here we go. This." He asks if she and Esteban aren't friends, and she says they sort of are -- they sort of are -- but it's not really something that comes up. "Because I think it's fundamental!" Andy crows, which disgusts her because that was one of the choices. I never thought about that, but Nancy and multiple choice is like a terrible idea. "I choose A, but only to fuck with C!"