Episode Report Card Jacob: A+ | 120 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Big Rocks & Candy Mountains
By Jacob | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2009.08.24
Which is what Esteban comes down to. Answer this one and you win everything. The fact that it's a trick question doesn't even matter. Just go. Boyhood romance is repugnant, but you've done worse in your time. Stop thinking like a hammer.
Silas opens a bottle of wine and watches the dicks laugh and snuggle Adelita's unconscious self. Shane's like, "Those fucking dicks are still here?" Shane says they smoked heroin, but makes sure Shane understands that he is drug-free, except for pot. And the wine he's drinking. Shane watches them prepare to gang-rape their sister and points out that they suck. Silas has a point too: "She kinda sucks."
Shane worries about her two sisters in France, who presumably could also show up with douchebags in tow at any time. Silas slides a glass of wine over to Shane and they toast, to "This thing we're doing now, here, in this ridiculous place." Shane thanks him for not leaving, and he jokes that he's leaving tomorrow, laughing. The boys have her shirt off now. Shane asks if they should do anything, because she is truly out of it, and Old Silas rears his head: "Apparently these are the guys her dad wants her to fuck, so..."
The guys start kissing her in that gross trust-fundy way that's more about each other, and Silas finally springs into action, pulling their smacked-out asses off the couch. They get a little weird, but then Shane grabs one of them and threatens in Spanish to fuck him up the ass with his knife, so they run away. Silas is impressed.
The results of the quiz are as follows: Andy, with an 89%, understands what love is and is in true love. Nancy laughs that they can't count his orgy fixation against him at this point, or in 1974. "Nancybot," on the other hands, gets a 62%. She's disappointed. He pats her knee sweetly and says she still has the chance to reexamine her priorities and understanding of love and make a positive change in your life. "Or I could kill myself," she says boredly, and he comforts her that it's just a silly meaningless quiz, which she points out is obviously true, and he pulls that boy move of how he's special and truly in love, the exception to the cartoon rule, and she's like, "You're in love. For the moment." He acts like she's raining on his parade.