Episode Report Card Jacob: A+ | 120 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Big Rocks & Candy Mountains
By Jacob | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2009.08.24
Celia's on the phone with Doug -- everything she owns, including herself, piled against the condo door -- begging him to take the pot off her hands. "No, I would not suck your dick," she spits, and over at Dean's Isabel asks Doug to kindly refrain from asking her mother to blow him. He whines that otherwise she would have known something was up, and asks Dean -- or "Dark & Lovely," as he calls him -- to corroborate. Because yeah, Dean Hodes is in blackface for some reason, and starts talking about how the "white women" have been sweatin' him all day, so he wants to go "hit a hot spot" and "turn it loose" while he's still dressed like a scary monster, sweating skin and putting on Lip Venom. Sometimes this show goes full retard before you can even blink. Isabel says, and I fervently hope she's right, that he will probably be murdered.
Nancy comes home to Shane enjoying a glass of wine, which he assures her is not a joke, and Andy (back to friend-not-parent mode) joins him. Where's Silas? Holding their sister's hair back while she pukes. "I get five feet in the door and shits already falling apart," Nancy says tiredly, and Shane drunkenly points at the TV, where there's a big announcement happening. Andy assumes that he's talking about the wedding he's planning for tomorrow, but no: Esteban Reyes, standing at a podium with Pilar Zuazo, back on the ticket. Guess his independent showing scared her, so now -- as Nancy says -- she's "pulled him back in."
Nancy sits down, narrowing her eyes at Pilar, but when Shane asks if Andy's really getting married, Nancy realizes she doesn't care anymore. About any of it. Would she go back and change anything? Would she take the new ring off, and put the other one back on? Not now. Not now that Esteban's useful and scary again; back on top and staying on top, standing next to the woman she's going to murder: "Yes he is. He's using my ring, with my blessing," she says, without taking her eyes off the screen. They clink their glasses. Nancy congratulates her man.
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