Episode Report Card Omar G: B- | 131 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT It's a Wonderful Life (But Not Such a Wonderful Show)
By Omar G | Season 7 | Episode 18 | Aired on 2008.05.01
Opening credits. Commercials. Really long Speed Racer trailer. Well that was... colorful?
Kent Farm, daytime. Clark (the whiny Kryptonian one) throws open the kitchen door, but is mindful enough to grab it so it doesn't slam against the wall. Everything in the kitchen looks the same except one thing: a framed photo shows this other, dickish Clark Kent instead of Kal-El Original Recipe Clark, standing next to Bo Duke and MamaKent. I am going to kill that dirty photographer! Clark Kent II walks in through the open kitchen door. "Hey! What are you doing?" he asks. He's all out of focus. Wow, Kal-El, it really is about keeping the camera focused on you the whole time this week, isn't it? He says he's not in the picture. "You're their son," Kal-El says. Clark II says that he is and that he's lucky Bo Duke wasn't around or he'd have busted out with the 12-gauge. Original Recipe Clark's eyebrows rise. "He's alive?" he asks, happily. He doesn't wait for an answer. He starts to go up the stairs, calling, "Dad?" "What's your problem?" Clark II asks. Kid, do you have about 12 hours to hear them all? The teen says that nobody's home and that if this stranger doesn't get out of his house, he's calling the sheriff. "I never made it to Earth. I don't exist here," Original Clark says to himself. Yeah, I'm sure that makes perfect sense to this sleeker new model of Clark Kentiness. "Well, unfortunately, you do," the kid says. He mentions that he still hasn't been told what this douchebag is doing in his house. I think I like this kid more than the real Clark. Pacing, Original Clark says that somehow he's here anyway, even though he never got on that ship. The kid offers to give this crazy person some help. Clark the First says he needs to talk to Bo Duke and MamaKent. The kid says they're away on a cruise, celebrating Bo Duke's birthday. Wow, this farm really took off without an alien there to do all the work. Must be all those government subsidies. Clark Part One asks about Lana Lang. The kid doesn't know her. He offers to call the sheriff. Clark in the First says it's all right. He just wants to check on his friends and needs to use the phone. I wait for the kid to offer a third time to call the Sheriff.
Fly-over of Smallville. It's the first time we've seen a view like this in a while. We cut to a street view, where there seems to be a lot more activity than normal. Clark spots Chloe coming out of a building that might be The Talon. The man she's with runs inside the building to get something. Clark (the one and only Kryptonian version from here on out) goes to her as she's looking at flowers. He pretends to have been part of the Smallville High Class of '05, even though that's no longer true. Chloe says her inner database is coming up empty. I don't think Chloe would have forgotten the name of one of her classmates. "Do I know you?" she asks. He introduces himself as Clark Kent and tells her he was a bit of an outsider. Like outside of existence. He says he's trying to find a mutual friend: Lana Lang. "Uh, the cheerleader?" Chloe asks. She didn't really know Lana and lost track of her after graduation. Clark asks if Chloe could use her investigative skills from The Torch to help him track Lana down. Just then, Chloe's man comes and joins her. Heeeeeyyy. He's quite the hot one. It turns out Chloe has some wedding planning to do. The guy is her fiancé. The guy says the wedding's on Sunday. We flash to Chloe's small, but cute, engagement ring. Clark congratulates her. He says that's great. Chloe's dad (Gabe!) apparently just called and is waiting at the tuxedo shop. Chloe apologizes for not helping. She goes off with her man. She says she hopes Clark finds Lana. "Chloe," Clark says, stopping her, "I'm really happy for you." Chloe smiles back and thanks him. Well, that's one life Clark didn't completely fuck up. Maybe we should be keeping score.