Episode Report Card Omar G: B- | 131 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT It's a Wonderful Life (But Not Such a Wonderful Show)
By Omar G | Season 7 | Episode 18 | Aired on 2008.05.01
Metropolis. Clark walks in to a very swanky martini bar with a lit purple stripe running across it. There's an open atrium and house music is playing. I think you might pick up someone handsome here, Clark. Oh, and there she is. A woman at the bar in a pantsuit appears and it's... hey, Sheriff Cheshire! Back from the dead. She walks past Clark holding a drink. "Sheriff Adams?" Clark asks. In her laconic drawl, she says it's been a long time since anyone called her by that "Handle." She asks if she knows Clark. He tells her he's from Smallville. She says she shook the dust off her boots from that place a long time ago. With her hair down and her face made up, she is quite the formidable cougar. Rrowr. "What's your business here?" she asks. You, cougar. You are my business. Rrowr. Clark says he's making a delivery. He hands her the envelope from Lois. She asks why it's open. Clark wants to know what's happening with Lois. "You're out of your league here, slim," she tells Clark. She flashes a badge pinned to the inside of her lapel. "I am the government." Cool. Could you do something about these taxes? Because, seriously (chuckle), this is just ridiculous. Am I right, people? Taxes! Sheesh! Her eyes going into dagger mode (down, cougar!), Cheshire tells Clark to get his ass back to Smallville before she loses her ladylike charm and arrests his hide. The way she says it, "Hide" has about four syllables. Clark reveals that Lois was arrested. He says DDS picked her up that morning for having something that belonged to the government. Cheshire is surprised. Clark figures out that she must be Lois's informant. She gets up in Clark's face (rrowr!) and says that if anyone finds out, she will hunt him down like "A henhouse fox." Good? I guess Clark knows the farm lingo, then. Clark says he wants to help. "Tell me where she is!" he demands. Cheshire doesn't think anyone can help Lois now. Clark wants to try. Cheshire tells him to give it up. She turns, but Clark has reappeared on her other side. "I don't give up!" he says. Dude, you started this episode giving up your whole life! We'd have nothing to watch this week if you hadn't give up. You give up all the time! Damn! "Tell me where I can find Lois Lane," Clark says.