Episode Report Card Omar G: B- | 131 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT It's a Wonderful Life (But Not Such a Wonderful Show)
By Omar G | Season 7 | Episode 18 | Aired on 2008.05.01
Kara leaves the room in the opposite direction. She sees Clark standing in the hallway. She starts to tell him he can't be there until Clark calls her "Kara." She asks how he knew that name. Clark says he's her Kryptonian cousin. Hey, cuz! Got any work for me? I just got off the boat. Er, ship. Clark says he's Kal-El. Kara examines him closely as she walks around him. "I was sent here to kill you," she says. She punches at him, but instead hits a chunk of stony wall. She tries to hit him again, but Clark easily blocks her elbow. She says they searched the world for Clark and couldn't find him. Clark explains that he never existed in this world, but somehow he's here now. "Time was altered, something went wrong, I can't explain what happened!" The way Clark runs it all together is actually a little bit funny. Clark says they need to get the briefcase with the nuclear codes away from Lex. Kara thinks about it and decides she trusts Lex. Clark offers the dealbreaker: "Milton Fine is Brainiac," he says. Oh. Well, that's different. "He made it to Earth?" she asks. She accepts this instantly and blames herself for not seeing it sooner. Clark says that together they can stop Brainiac. Yeah, all right. Sounds like a lot of work, though.
Commercials. If Sprint really wants me to believe they're the future of wireless, they could stand to shoot their commercials in something other than boring black-and-white on some anonymous street.
All right, I'm officially confused. There's a huge POTUS seal on the floor of where Lex is standing. But it's not the Oval Office. He's in what looks like a slightly redecorated version of the Lair of Lex. I'm thinking he's still in Smallville. Did he somehow relocate the nation's capitol here? Lex walks to a globe on his desk and spins it with his gnarly, gloved hand. (For which we're offered no explanation; did whatever happened to his hand still happen without Clark?) Kara and Clark walk into the room. "Who's this?" Lex asks. And can I get his phone number? Is he double-jointed? "He's from Krypton," Kara says wearily. Oh, all right then, just have him -- do WHAAAAAA!? Kara asks Lex to just hear him out. Well... he is quite shiny. Speak, well-dressed plebian! Clark asks Lex to think about how he got to this point in his life and to realize that it was SoFine who led him here. Kara tells Lex that he knows it's true. Clark says that SoFine has been manipulating Lex to get access to the country's nuclear arsenal. He's got his own superpowers. Couldn't he have done that on his own? Kryptonians (and their robots) sure like to complicate the shit out of everything, don't they? Lex is not impressed. He circles back behind his desk and says that sometimes things go so wrong that you have to start over. Hey, let's do that for Season Eight! Clark asks if that's what SoFine wants. "Lex, his goal is to destroy mankind!" Clark says. "Not everyone," Lex answers. He says American's best and brightest will be safe. Lindsay Lohan. All of the members of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. David Blaine. Melissa Rivers. All the members of Smash Mouth. Danny Bonnaduce. Any woman who has ever been a contestant on The Bachelor. Nasty Nell. Kim Kardashian. The best! The brightest! It's going to be fucking AWESOME! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT!? Lex says they've already been shuttled to bunkers all over the country. The biggest bunker is near L.A. Clark says they'll have nothing to come back to. "When the dust settles, we'll rebuild," Lex says. Lex says he'll lead the survivors to the new world. It's pretty creepy seeing a guy in a white suit, white shirt and white tie deliver this prophesy.