Episode Report Card Omar G: B- | 131 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT It's a Wonderful Life (But Not Such a Wonderful Show)
By Omar G | Season 7 | Episode 18 | Aired on 2008.05.01
Just then, several men in suits walk in asking for "Lois Lane." "That's what it says on my Pulitzer," she tells them. This must be a different Lois than the one we're come to know. Kara suddenly walks up from behind the men, wearing a dark business suit and white shirt, provocatively unbuttoned. Her blonde hair is pulled back and her eye makeup is egregious. She says that Lois is in possession of something belonging to the U.S. government. Well it's a good thing they're in a newsroom, where everyone will overhear this bit of breaking news. One of the guards grabs Lois and handcuffs her. They lead her away. Nobody bothers to take a photo, not even Jimmy. Boooo! Clark tries to intervene, but Kara tells him to back off. According to the Closed Captioning, there was a whole string of dialogue from Lois that was supposed to go here as she was dragged off, but luckily, it was all cut in editing. Nice one, show. Clark looks back to Jimmy, who is shaking his head. Clark sees Lois taken into an elevator. Jimmy says that if the head of DDS is here, it must be serious. He explains for Clark, who has surely heard the term before in his non-alternate-reality life: "Department of Domestic Security." Jimmy says that was Linda Danvers, the head of that department, who was appointed last month. "Who appointed her?" Clark asks. Jimmy pulls out a newspaper and shoves it at us. It was the president. That president is Lex Luthor. There's a photo on the front page of Lex, wearing a white suit and sporting a black glove on his right hand. The headline reads, "PRESIDENT LUTHOR UPS MILITARY BUDGET." I can't make out the date on the newspaper, but I've built it up in my brain that this is in the future, which would explain how young Lex could be president, since he's not 35 in the normal timeline. Clark is stunned by the newspaper. As am I. That's too heavy a headline font for such non-news.
Commercials. Stride Gum! Short-lasting. A modicum of flavor. Let the chewing begin.
Daily Planet. We pass a window with the paper's logo on it. That's the third close-up of the logo we've seen, not counting exterior shots. We get it. It's THE DAILY PLANET. Clark says he can't believe Lex is president. Jimmy says Lex played the fear card and got the most votes. Yes. Familiar. Jimmy says that ever since Lex rounded up the meteor freaks, he's been a national hero. Wouldn't anybody with a slight knowledge of the world around them already know all this? Why does Jimmy feel he has to explain this to a total stranger? "There was still a meteor shower?" Clark asks. Jimmy says it made headlines from coast to coast. He doesn't specify, though, whether it was the original meteor shower or the one that happened during graduation. "Luthor saved the day," Jimmy adds. Clark asks if Lois being taken away has anything to do with Lex. Jimmy chides Clark for being on a first-name basis with the president. Clark says he just wants to help his friend, Lois. Jimmy asks "Rambo" if he's not sipping the poison a little too quickly given that they just met. "Poison." Yes. That's exactly the right word for Lois. I would also add three Ts: "Trashy, toxic, terrible." Clark thinks there must be some way to help Lois. Jimmy says he's trying to keep himself out of an orange jumpsuit. Those don't look so good with bowties. Clark follows Jimmy into the archive room, asking where they took her. Jimmy is about to shred the envelope that Lois gave him, but Clark grabs it. "Hey!" Jimmy says, wimpily, "give it back!" He just stands there while Clark opens it and starts reading. "What does this mean?" Clark asks. I don't know. Did you try reading it? Would the stranger like a dictionary, or perhaps a thesaurus, or even an after-school tutor? Jimmy explains that Lois doesn't like courier services, so he's been acting as her messenger. Clark asks where Jimmy was taking the message. Jimmy makes a smart remark about why he should tell Clark. Clark, not havin' it, grabs Jimmy and presses him up against the archive shelves. Jimmy smiles at Clark. He likes the rough stuff. It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. Jimmy says it was going to the Ace of Clubs. He suggests Clark look for a suit at the end of the bar. "Your messenger days are over," Clark tells Jimmy. He leaves. Hey, thanks! What was your name again? Clark? Thanks for the rough stuff!