Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Tuck Everlasting
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.05.2002
It's official. Lena Olin makes evil look tasty.
Okay. What in the HELL is Mickey Rourke doing in a car commercial playing SATAN? How sad is his career? How SAD is his FACE? Ew! His face looks like he borrowed it from the reject pile of the makeup department of Face/Off. Yuck. Mickey? Do us all a favor, okay? Go back to boxing on amphetamines and boinking airhead models that don't know any better. AND WEAR A MASK.
Right. So, Syd's finally made it to Naj's room with her zebra stripes intact. She pulls a device out of her bag, and we're whipped back to Marshall's Lair Of Lame Devices And Hilarious Hijinks as he explains just what it is that Syd's pulled out of her bag. It's a metal detector that will help Syd locate the safe. Luckily for her, it's just inside some armoire. And we're back with Marshall, as he explains how Syd's going to use a simple cell phone and a big metal Target lampshade to open the safe. And Marshall? He's funny as hell. Really. But it takes TOO LONG to write down his improvisational funny. I want to recap it but, since most of you watch the show religiously anyway, I'm guessing you already know how bizarrely funny it is. And if you don't, then it's called a VCR and I suggest you learn how to use it.
Syd sets up the lampshade and the phone and punches in the code (7-9-3-7-9-3 -- which spells "SYD", you know, just in case she forgets, because, like, the numbers correspond with the letters -- oh, you know that, right?) and waits for the device to do its magic. Meanwhile, Vaughn heads back to the CIA ops room where they're monitoring Sydney's progress. He wants to speak to his non-girlfriend. Unfortunately, she's not radio silent yet, so it's not possible.
Back with Syd at the safe and Marshall at the still-explaining. The device is working, and Marshall's telling her how it will work. We don't care. The point is, will Syd open the safe before Vaughn can get to her? The device has one more number to go, so Syd goes radio silent. As soon as she does, Vaughn's on the horn. He warns her not to open the safe and then asks her if there's a fire alarm on the wall. She looks. There is. Vaughn informs her that it's a failsafe and that she shouldn't open the safe until she's pulled the alarm. Sydney rightly thinks that there's something rotten in the state of Spy Mommy, and Kendall pokes his bald head in and states that her mother did indeed give them this information. Syd's all, so what? So I'm just supposed to pull the alarm and hope for the best? Are you HIGH? Vaughn's all, look, she killed my father, yeah, but I think she's for real on this one. Besides, she's HOT. Syd's convinced that her mother still wants her dead, so really, why should she listen to her? Kendall's all, dude? If she really wanted you dead, you'd be dead. Can we stop talking about this now? Syd wants to know if they talked to her father about this. Vaughn assures her that they did. "And what did he say?" she asks. "Your dad?" stutters Vaughn. Cut to Spy Daddy: "THE ANSWER IS NO!" Hee. Vaughn says, "All I'm asking is that you consider it!" Spy Daddy says, "CONSIDER THE SOURCE!" Oh, God. I just love it when Victor Garber goes ballistic. They go back and forth at each other until Spy Daddy says, "UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DISCUSS THIS WITH MY DAUGHTER!" Gulp. It's a poorly constructed sentence, but still, gulp.