Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B- | 160 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Back To School
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.03.2013
Elena proposes the roomies drink to something. Caroline breaks out the blood bags and they toast to being functional vampires and this new chapter in their lives. Just before they drink, they hear someone at the door. Caroline manages to hide the blood bags, right before a bespectacled girl (Hayley Kiyoko) enters and introduces herself as Megan, their roommate. Apparently, Caroline and Elena thought the third bed in their cavernous room was just for show. Neither girl should play poker, since they can't even bother to pretend they're not distressed. We cut to...
MFHS. Classroom. Jeremy reads Bonnie her latest incoming text message. "Caroline says, 'Get your ass to Whitmore, Bonnie. We need you'." Oh, so NOW they care that she's not at school with them. Did they think she was going to show up later and be the third roommate? What kind of college is this that incoming frosh don't know their roommates names? Bonnie tells Jeremy to lie in reply and say she's at the Grand Canyon. Jeremy suggests a belated pull-off-the-bandage approach in re news of her passing. "What happens when your dad finds out you've been dead all summer?" Bonnie says, "How many postcards have I sent him?" How exactly did she pull that off? Did Jeremy make day trips to all the places she's pretended to visit? I'm fine with Bonnie being dumb, and Caroline and Elena being so self-absorbed as to not realize something is fishy. I'm not fine with the obvious lack of thought by whoever penned this dialogue. Anyhow Bonnie says she's done enough. Her father clearly isn't missing her. That I can buy, since he couldn't even bother to pop into her life until last year. Jeremy asks, "What about Elena." Bonnie says she just saw her at college. "She seemed genuinely happy. I am not taking that away from her." She puts her ghost hand on Jeremy's arm. "We're lucky, Jer. How many people die and still get to talk to their best friends." Jeremy's gaze travels from Bonnie's hand to her face. "How many...best friends can't feel each other?" Their awkward silence is interrupted by the bell. Jeremy rises. "I should get going. The freak who faked his own death can't also be late for math." True. PRO TIP: He probably also shouldn't be having audible conversations with a ghost none of his classmates can see. We cut to...
Whitmore. Dorm. After a product placement for Megan's tablet we pan to Elena who is talking on the phone to Damon about the roommate situation. In that dim lighting, for a second, I thought Megan was Elena, wearing glasses. In response to the Megan dilemma (which -- is Elena talking about it, right in front of her) Damon suggests compulsion as "the ultimate unwanted roommate repellant." Apparently, Elena wants to avoid the mistakes she made in Mystic Falls, and live compulsion free. I'm sorry, if I had that power, I'd be compelling myself out of every awkward situation. Then I'd feel guilty. Then I'd do it again. After some small talk about Jeremy getting off to school, Elena again broaches the subject of pulling off the long distance relationship. Since when is she the needy one in this relationship? Okay, generally speaking, she is needy as hell, but not in terms of the relationship. Damon's always been the chaser. Not right now though. He cuts her off with an all too abrupt, "Listen, I've gotta uh...go," when he sees a disheveled Katherine Pierce standing in front of his fireplace (not a euphemism).