Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B- | 160 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Back To School
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.03.2013
Mystic Falls. Hey, this is still Mystic Falls, so there's still an Event O' the Week even if it doesn't feature in the action. Rebekah finds Matt at that Mystic Grill concession tent, and mocks him for pouring beer when he could be lazing in a Parisian restaurant. After they make out, Matt reminds Rebekah she's on another show now. Thank you, Pudding Pop. Don't mistake me, I like the Originals. On their own show. Rebekah tempts Matt to come with her, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why he doesn't. Their talk turns to Nadia, and how she stole Rebekah's earrings and the Gilbert Protect-o ring when they were back in Prague. Lie down with dogs; wake up with fleas, Beckster. You're a thousand years old. How do you not know better? Punctuating each of her demands with kisses, Rebekah tells Matt not to call, not to write and not to miss her. She means none of it, of course, but at least she's cheery as she tries to save face. Matt watches her leave with a sated, appreciative look and gets back to work.
The camera pans to Stefan, who of course isn't Stefan at all, but Silas in Stefan's skin, aka Stylus. He finds Liz drowning her sorrow in french fries. Thinking she's talking to Stefan, Liz invites Stylus to join her. He takes a seat, grabs her wrist, takes out a knife and slices into her. Understandably, Liz asks what he's doing. Stylus says he's outing himself as "Not-Stefan." He compels her to not be afraid and not move, then tells her they've met before, when he appeared as Caroline and bashed in Liz's head. Liz says, "Silas," and I'm so grateful, I could kiss the writers. I was so afraid we were going to have to watch our main characters be fooled by Stylus for half a season. I should have had more faith. Quick reveals are TVD's specialty, and one of the reasons I continue to ride it out, even when a story is going places I don't like. I know it will all be over soon enough. Stylus explains that Stefan is his doppelgänger and admits he can read Liz's thoughts and takes umbrage when Liz refers to him as a vampire. "Oh please, Liz. I came first. Vampires are nothing more than a disgusting perversion of me. I'm unkillable, I'm immortal, and I'm psychic and to function, I need human blood." Right. Vampire. Sorry, show. Call Stylus whatever you want. I'm never not going to think of him as anything but the Original Original. I just hope to high heaven that he doesn't turn into a joke, like the Mikaelsons did. When villains are nigh on invincible, the plot has to do all sorts of logic gymnastics, to even appear to matter. Anyhow, after draining enough of Liz's blood into his cup, Stylus ends his rant with, "...but don't ever call me a vampire." Whatever, Vampire. The vampire says, "Cheers," takes a sip of Liz's blood," reads her mind (which is rendered by an unfocused shot of Liz's face) and decides she can't help him find what he's looking for. He compels her to only remember that Stefan stopped by to say hello. Liz smiles. "Call your friends, Stefan. Let 'em know you're okay." Stylus says, "Will do, Sheriff," and walks off. We cut to...