Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B- | 160 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Back To School
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.03.2013
Stefan dreams that he's home, with Damon, standing in front of a sunny window. Dream Damon points out that he's only a figure of Stefan's imagination. Sheeesh. Thanks for your confidence, writers. Anyhow, Dream Damon wants Stefan to turn off his humanity. Doing so won't keep him from drowning or save him from his physical discomfort, but it will turn off his misery, fear and hopelessness. Dream Stefan argues with the dream brother he's conjured up that if he turns off his humanity and then gets rescued, what good will it do anyone if he's a monster, again. Dream Damon is easier to shut up than real Damon, so we cut to the...
Dorm. Caroline, the Snotty Privacy Queen is snooping through all of Megan's stuff. When Elena calls her on it, Caroline says, "Maybe if she didn't take such long showers, I wouldn't have time to go through her stuff." Yes they have a bathroom adjoining their impossible dorm room. Why not? Caroline can't understand why Elena is okay with a third roommate. Elena reminds her they're trying to be functional, which means they need friends. Caroline would prefer more personal space and the ability to store her blood bags in their mini fridge. At that, she takes out a bottle of Megan's protein water, and breaking the very ground rules she so snottily set, takes a big swig of it. It turns out it's laced with vervain, which pleases me on one hand, because Caroline has been intolerable this episode. On the other hand, it pisses me off. In season 1 or 2, the Fellowship of the Falls learned that Katherine regularly dosed herself with small bits of vervain, to build up a tolerance to it. Given how often it burns one of them, I don't understand why they aren't all doing the same on a regular basis. Anyhow, Caroline's mouth sizzles as she chokes on the dosed water. Megan bursts in and asks what's going on. Right now, Megan, it looks like what's going on is a commercial break.
After the break, Caroline says the water went down the wrong pipe. Megan grabs the bottle of water, and is gracious enough not to give Caroline any crap for touching her stuff. When she returns to the bathroom, Caroline is convinced Megan must know they're vampires. Elena tries to reason with her, but Caroline wants to lock up Megan, wait 'til the vervain is out of her system and then compel her to forget about them. Elena nixes this plan. "The best way to convince her we're normal is to act normal -- do normal, human, freshman-y stuff." When Caroline wonders what that is, Elena smiles playfully and bops her shoulders to the white girls dance beat. We cut to....