Episode Report Card Demian: C- | 221 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT SPARKLE, Phoebe, SPARKLE! (Part I)
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2003.09.28
Um.
Shut up! Hooray!
Yeah, but "Sheila" sort of sucks. You know. A little.
Fuck you! "Sheila" sucks no more! Because the Dazzling Mrs. Darryl is now the Dazzling Sheila, and she shall have dominion over land and sea and air and man and beast and, like, plants and shit, and her reign upon the earth shall last forever and ever and ever! Whee!
Whatever. I need a drink.
Dazzling Sheila! Woo! Woof woof woof woof woof woof WOOF!
Needless to say, part of me is far too excited by this development to pay much attention to the remainder of this scenelet. Not that it matters, really, as Piper just Pollyannas something stupid about her current predicament before Darryl and his freshly named wife -- Sheila! Hooray! -- take their leave.
Back at the stairs, the Dazzling Duo bump into Raige and Phoebe, who have just arrived with those tinkly chimes and that goddamned choir. Phoebe and her fucking backup band immediately determine that something's troubling the pair, and commence with the rudely intrusive questioning. Raige splutters apologies to the befuddled marrieds before lugging the Feebs off to the side. "What is going on with you?" she grits. "I don't know," Phoebe guhs. "Lately, I've just been feeling a lot of weird vibes." Raige insists that she "can deal with only one whacked-out sister at a time," and suggests Phoebe cram those weird vibes up her ass. Phoebe's all, "Gotcha," and the two hesitantly approach Piper to deliver the dreadful Dolt news. Piper receives said dreadful Dolt news with vacant aplomb. Also, when prodded, Piper admits she can't remember anything that was said during her last meeting with her deadbeat husband. Phoebe and Raige shake their heads sadly.