Episode Report Card Demian: C- | 221 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT SPARKLE, Phoebe, SPARKLE! (Part I)
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2003.09.28
Where the hell was I? Oh, yeah -- this tedious scene. "She's not the only one," the Bride admits, before confessing her own concerns. "He's an Elder, Chris. How much lonker do you really expect us to keep him?" And there go all my hopes for a dead Dolt. Bastards. A bit of clunky expository dialogue confirms Chris "banished" the Dolt to the Bride's realm before the Bride again asks, "How much lonker?" Chris insists the Dolt remain where he is until Chris has "finished what [he] came here to do." He adds that the Glamorous Ladies cannot be allowed to find the Dolt before Chris "is ready, or else…" "I know," interrupts the Bride a bit wearily. "We all understand the risks." "I'd never hurt you, Mist," Chris smooves as he sidles on up to her, and I don't know where the hell to start with that, but why don't I try here: "Mist"? Ew! We'll be sticking with "Bride Of Riley" for the duration, thanks all the same. And as for the ludicrous notion that Big Gay Chris would ever put the moves on any entity of the female persuasion: NOT. Pull the other one, Kern. Jackhole.
Christ, I hate this show.
ANY-way, the pointy-eared tart lowers her gaze a bit sadly and counters that Big Gay Chris would indeed hurt her if it served his agenda. Fortunately, Piper chooses this moment to bellow from the landing below, so after a palpably uncomfortable kiss between Milicevic and Fuller, the Bride summons the crappy green digital overlay and vanishes. "Hey!" Piper perks as she enters the room toting a basket. "Do you have any laundry?" Chris, skeeved that his lips actually touched those of a cootie-laden girl, distractedly mutters "no" as he crosses back to the Book. "I'm gonna get your sisters," he calls as Piper bustles towards the door. "We've got another demon to vanquish." "Okey-dokey!" she smiles before disappearing into the hall.