Episode Report Card Demian: C- | 221 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT SPARKLE, Phoebe, SPARKLE! (Part I)
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2003.09.28
Back in the parlor, Piper edges towards her Mysterious Curio Cabinet Of Tacky Marital Memorabilia and peers through the glass at her wedding portrait, which gradually fills the screen. Shut up, Dolt.
Isle Of Dykes. Phoebe, fitting right in with that hair of hers, nonchalantly ambles down one of island's trails with Raige, idly nattering about the presumably super-special protective shields the island's denizens erected to conceal its existence from the outside world. Nearby shouts interrupt their reverie, so the two dive into some handy bougainvillea bushes to spy on a passing trio of thundering warrior-types evidently sent to capture them. "That was close," Raige mutters as she reemerges onto the trail. Phoebe's Fucking Backup Band kicks in YET AGAIN, so the Feebs naturally tackles her hapless half-sister to the ground, where she proceeds to throttle her. Phoebe eventually snaps out of it and makes with the profuse apologies, claiming she "tapped into" the warriors' bloodlust. Fucking. Wonderful. First, Cole made her do it, then it was all the goddamned baby's fault, and now she's blaming her brutally stupid behavior on this assy new power of hers? Fucking stow it, you fucking hag. AUUUUGHH! ANY-way, Raige meekly accepts Phoebe's lame-ass apology, and the two head off in search of the stumpy Dolt.