Episode Report Card Demian: F | 159 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Desperate Crackmonkeys
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2005.10.16
OH, MY GOD! SHUT UP, PHOEBE! She ignores me, as is her wont, to power through the main office at All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me with her long-suffering Non-Mary Cherry assistant trailing after her. Phoebe's curtly barking a series of orders involving hair appointments that the assistant must schedule for the boss and shopping trips to Crate And Barrel the assistant must make that afternoon to purchase a few dozen candles "to set the mood" for the boss's date with the boss's badly coiffed pantywaist of a boyfriend the following evening, and the long-suffering Non-Mary Cherry assistant is agreeing to it all. Moron! HATE! HATE! I HATE EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS SHOW. ["Also, wardrobe squeezed the assistant into the least flattering top in California and made her perform the entire scene with a raging case of butt-crack-chest-itis. Did someone tell wardrobe to put her in that assy blouse, to make Phoebe look prettier by comparison? ...Nah, that would be petty and mean. And obvious. Alyssa." -- Sars] Eventually, Raige arrives to confront Phoebe regarding Vex's apparent extracurricular dalliances, but Raige doesn't actually come right out and say anything about it directly because we have to endure an endless conversation about how they once agreed -- off-camera and two years ago, apparently -- to stay out of each other's love lives after Phoebe didn't get along with Slampiece Buttfuck and Raige didn't get along with Cole -- who was, mind you, THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL AT THE TIME and so maybe Raige had a fucking excuse for that, Phoebe -- and this scene goes on and on and on and it includes Phoebe making an entirely self-serving statement about "honoring" her stupid fucking premonitions despite the fact that, as Raige correctly notes, not all of Phoebe's premonitions are meant to be taken literally and MY GOD, WE'RE FIFTEEN MINUTES INTO THE FUCKING EPISODE AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS HAPPENED YET and then it's over. I think. Yeah, Phoebe's leaving, so I'm pretty sure we're done here.