Episode Report Card Demian: F | 159 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Desperate Crackmonkeys
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2005.10.16
Manor. Piper enters to find the house empty. And Tiny Gay Chris is...where, exactly? Yet another reason to detest The Retarded Bimbo: She dragged Tiny Gay Chris's primary caregiver over to Not!warts on a selfish whim, thereby leaving the poor, neglected, and doomed little thing all by his lonesome in the basement, which is where they've apparently stashed him now that his wretched excuse for a mother has turned The Patricia Campbell Hearst Commemorative Child-Care Nook back into a closet. I hate this show.
Preschool Of The Damned. Evil Michelle Stafford, cuddling the dead-eyed Psycho in her lap, disparages the peanut-butter-and-jelly-on-whole-wheat sandwich Glamour Piper had prepared for the brat and, after conjuring a cookie for him to snack on instead, urges the Psycho to orb the sandwich into the trash. The Psycho complies. "Good job!" Evil Michelle Stafford enthuses, rocking him back and forth. "Let's do that again!"
Vex Pexter's Physically Impossible Garret. Raige emerges from the elevator, plants herself in the hallway outside his door, mutters a few words of encouragement to herself, and glamours into Sylvia form before entering the physically impossible garret without knocking. How does she even know he's there? Oh, fuck it. This show is useless. Long story short, Raige-as-Sylvia makes a complete ass out of herself but does, in the process, learn that Vex and Sylvia have had zero involvement with each other for the better part of three months. I must admit, Alana De La Garza did a pretty damn good job imitating Rose McGowan's bizarre vocal inflections and awkward, oddly phrased line readings during this scene, but she really should have worked a little harder on mastering the more twitchy elements of McGowan's physical performance. You know, for believability's sake. After all, I'm sure there had to be some star-spangled Floridian snow cones lying around the set to provide her with the necessary motivation and skills. In any event, the Feebs enters during all of this, and Rylvia completely blows her cover by addressing the new arrival by the latter's real name. Phoebe shoots her eyebrows skywards at this but remains silent about it all, even after Rylvia's exited. Out in the hall, Rylvia glamours back down into Raige, who spasmodically lurches out of the frame.