Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | 256 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Ill Bill
By M. Giant | Season 3 | Episode 19 | Aired on 2004.04.20
The Brothers Palmer step into a conference room where the Cabinet has assembled, some in person and some on video monitors. I guess I missed the reason why most of the Cabinet is in California with Palmer. Maybe he insists on really high-level debate advisors. In any case, Brother Palmer announces that the V-I-R-U-S has been released at Inn Fection, and that they know Saunders is behind the attacks and he'll continue the attacks unless his demands are met. VP Prescott asks what those demands are. Brother Palmer explains about "the sky is falling" and the demand to have Chappelle ki-- I'm sorry, I need to stop and back up here. Vice President Prescott? Why the hell is that guy still Vice President? Was Palmer like, "Whoa ho ho, Veepster, you got me a good one there. I'll be keeping my eye on you from now on, you betcha"? Whatever. So Brother Palmer says that Saunders ordered Chappelle killed. The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs asks, "What was his response when you didn't comply?" There's a false premise in there, Chairman. The Brothers Palmer look at each other the way they did that time when Mom got home early and the coffee table was on fire. Palmer admits that he had no choice but to comply. While everyone is still reacting to this news with varying degrees of shock and horror, Palmer orders them to throw their departments' doors open to CTU.
7:29:24, CTU. Potato Face is complaining to Soul Patch about not being able to get at some Defense Department files. Jeez, Potato Face, keep your hair on. The president just gave the order, like, five seconds ago. Oh, wait, she's just asking when Chappelle is going to be back to authorize it. Soul Patch has to tell her he's not coming back. It's just Soul Patch's Awkward Conversation Hour this week, isn't it? He calls out to everyone on the floor and announces that "Ryan Chappelle was killed in the line of duty about a half hour ago." He doesn't give any more details, but he'll be assuming Chappelle's duties for the moment. "There'll be an opportunity to pay our respects to Ryan, but now's not the time." Before anyone can say, "No, we're good, actually," Adam the Woman Hater cuts in with the news that Special Agent Charlie Brown is calling in. Charlie Brown, now unmasked, tells Soul Patch that Ill Bill is symptomatic. He's not calling until now? What's he been doing? It's been ten minutes since they found that bloody snotrag. Ill Bill could be as much as half a block further away by now! Special Agent Charlie Brown wants to talk to Spawn now, but Soul Patch has to tell him she's on assignment. Mrs. Ill Bill gets carted out of her house on a gurney in a plastic bubble as Charlie Brown takes the news of Spawn's mission not much better than Kiefer did. Soul Patch, of course, just had this argument with Kiefer about ten minutes ago, and he's not about to have it again with Kiefer's Mini-Me. Charlie Brown seethes.