Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | 256 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Ill Bill
By M. Giant | Season 3 | Episode 19 | Aired on 2004.04.20
Kiefer heads into the conference room like a lion into the Roman Coliseum. Spawn tries to throw a leash over him, but he's not having it; he all but picks up the guy who's been briefing Spawn and hurls him out the door. I guess I underestimated Chappelle. Discipline really breaks down around here in the absence of his iron fist. Soul Patch, who has followed Kiefer into the room, tells the two Bauers he'll wait outside while they have it out. And that's exactly what happens. They yell at each other until Kiefer grabs Spawn and pushes her up against the wall. Okay, I can see he's mad, but that's kind of inappropriate. He yells in her face: "The reason why you've got this job -- the reason why I gave you this job -- is so that I could be sure you'd be safe!" What? She got the job because of Kiefer? Who'da thunk it? And by the way, Kiefer, outstanding plan there. Remind me, what did you just get back from doing? Was that a field operative's skull you ventilated not a half hour ago? When you found yourself in a van full of bad guys and explosives last season, where did y'all end up? And where was your wife killed? Was it miles from here, or just down the hall? Spawn doesn't bring any of that up, but she's still not backing down: "This is my job. Better yet, my duty." I just can't not laugh at her, because "duty" is accompanied by this four-year-old-playing-mommy finger waggle. Also, "doody." She insists she's doing it. Kiefer looks defeated, and he stares at the floor, thinking, She used to be so small, so helpless, and now my little girl has grown even stupider. It's 7:22:16.
7:26:41. Victims mill about in Inn Fection's quarantine area, Soul Patch broods, more victims mill, and Palmer tries to move his desk with his mind. Kiefer and Spawn come out onto the roof of CTU, the latter having changed into a kicky yet official CTU tracksuit. The helicopter's ready to go. They're getting a lot of miles on that thing this season, aren't they? Kiefer tells Spawn, "As soon as we get there, they're going to deal with your hair and makeup." Hey, as long as I know the hair is going to be dealt with some time, I can be patient. Kiefer reminds her that her disguise isn't going to fool anyone at close range, and they're going to put her where Saunders's people can only see her from a distance. I'm calling bullshit. They're assuming an awful lot here. Kiefer has no way of knowing that Spawnders doesn't have a Secret Service-style envelope around her at all times. The fact that he later turns out to be right doesn't excuse the sloppiness. Kiefer gives Spawn a handgun and tells her not to hesitate if she has to use it. Oh, man. I know he's her father, and he wants her to be safe, but never give Spawn a gun before you get on a helicopter with her, all right? That's just common sense. They climb into the back seat of the chopper, and it lifts off. It's 7:27:42.