Episode Report Card Sobell: A | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Where The Wild Things Are
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.17.2008
And then we cut to a subplot so extraneous, it deserves to be summed up in one paragraph. It involves Splenda. He and his papa are merrily tootling along toward Colombia, when a mere 200 km from the border, in the lovely mountainous Irgandi, Panama, the truck is stopped by a police barricade. Splenda panics, but his father comes through: not only does Papa have a secret smuggling compartment in his truck that the seasoned South American law professionals totally overlook, he's also got a fat load of manure to confuse any police dogs. And thus the father and son get over the border and safe into Colombia, where Splenda is greeted by a huge family blowout. So chalk up the happy ending -- Huzzah! Our boy's broken out of prison! All he has to do is avoid Panama for the rest of his life! -- and let's move on.
Or let's not, because then we move on to poor Sucre, who was tied to a chair and beaten so badly that the chair tipped over. His vision went blurry and approximately an eighth of his total blood supply is flowing from assorted holes in his head. Captain Mullet walks over, lifts up Sucre's head -- the better for him to drown in his own blood, one presumes -- and asks, "You want some more? Or do you want to tell us where Michael Scofield is?" Sucre doesn't know where Michael is. General Mestas looks like he believes this, but alas, Captain Mullet needs to strut and preen about how he just knew Sucre wasn't a humble laborer content to dig graves for dead convicts all day. Sucre cracks, "I don't get to be employee of the month?" No. He gets to be torture victim of the afternoon.
Susan B. is waiting at the warehouse with a few of her loyal goons when her phone rings. She picks it up with "I'm waiting." Michael's on the other end, telling her there's been a change in plans. Susan B. grins and says, "Oh! Well, well, well...I finally get to talk to the brains of the outfit." Michael tells her they're at the Plaza de Francia. Susan B. says, "So you're thinking, 'public place, safety in numbers, plenty of witnesses to protect you.' I'm thinking, 'public place, wanted men, lots of witnesses to identify you.'" Michael repeats the location; he expects Susan B. there in ten minutes -- alone. Susan B. hangs up and decides to ignore the "alone" part, ordering the goons to round everyone up.
We go to the credits -- adios chicken foot! I'll miss you! -- and then back to Sona. T-Bag's being escorted back into the prison right as the inmates are running riot. Some are raiding the makeshift store in the corner of the yard, others are tossing boxes of paper hither and yon. This raises the question: Exactly what was being filed in Sona? This is supposed to be a wretched repository of the worst Panamanian criminals, a cesspool of squalor and bare-bones conditions. So who was living out their Container Store fantasies of a comprehensive filing system? And what was going in the files? Incident reports for the chicken-foot fights? Anyway, as T-Bag walks in, he sees people kicking the bejeesus out of the still-bleeding Lechero. Bellick comes over, grabs T-Bag and pulls him to one side, warning, "It's anarchy in here! We've gotta hide!" T-Bag's staring at Lechero in horror, saying, "I-I've gotta help him." Bellick wants nothing of that: "He gave me three-degree burns down my back! He can go to hell!" T-Bag pulls himself out of Bellick's grasp and says, "I owe him this much. If you don't want to help, then don't." We then see the same man who was beaten silly a few minutes ago -- remember, how in last episode, he was pounded more thoroughly than a cutlet before breading? -- stride over to the gang of people whaling on Lechero and start kicking their asses, literally. We then do a quick cut to T-Bag carrying Lechero up to his suite while Bellick trails like a sullen dog. The whole place has been trashed -- including more of the files, by the way -- and Lechero is so exercised by this, he manages to get the false panel off in an electrical box and retrieve the gun he'd secreted behind it. For someone who took multiple gunshots to the gut, he's got remarkable stamina. However, the gun does deter the people who were going to steal his rum. After Lechero scares them off, T-Bag and Bellick get him into an easy chair so he can bleed in peace. Bellick frets, "He's going to get us killed!" but T-Bag corrects him: "He's going to get us out of here."